Hi there. I'm in a similar situation. My mum was fine till sept, when the dr thought she had gastric issues. At the end of sept she collapsed and was taken to A&E, where they told us she had advanced bowel cancer that had gone into her liver. Within 4 weeks she was dead & although it's a week today since her funeral I just can't get my head round it. She was SO fit and healthy, always did her bowel cancer tests, didn't drink or smoke, exercised regularly etc. I don't understand how she deteriorated so quickly. She didn't even get any palliative care, and it was all on us. She spent her last week in hospital and we were with her when she passed, but I still can't accept it. She died in huge discomfort. 
 

The only consolation I can offer is that when the body dies, its senses gradually shut down - hearing is apparently the last to go. I doubt your mum suffered in the last period, but I'm sure she knew you were there. You've gone through something huge and it's very difficult to accept, especially when it's been so fast. My dr has referred me for bereavement counselling, which I agree with. I have my first session on 6th December - it might be worth considering doing something similar if you can? I've no idea if it's going to help me, but I really hope it does. It's destroyed my dad's life too as they were soul mates. I'm trying to support him too whilst grieving myself so it's very tough. Don't torture yourself about not knowing - nobody can really say for definite when the time comes, only the body. She went to sleep and didn't really wake up, which is very similar to my mum. I just wish mine hadn't had the huge discomfort before she passed. I'm glad she went to sleep though and gradually slipped away. It feels a little more peaceful at least.
 

Sending  you lots of love. It's bloody awful. 
x

Hi there. I'm in a similar situation. My mum was fine till sept, when the dr thought she had gastric issues. At the end of sept she collapsed and was taken to A&E, where they told us she had advanced bowel cancer that had gone into her liver. Within 4 weeks she was dead & although it's a week today since her funeral I just can't get my head round it. She was SO fit and healthy, always did her bowel cancer tests, didn't drink or smoke, exercised regularly etc. I don't understand how she deteriorated so quickly. She didn't even get any palliative care, and it was all on us. She spent her last week in hospital and we were with her when she passed, but I still can't accept it. She died in huge discomfort. 
 

The only consolation I can offer is that when the body dies, its senses gradually shut down - hearing is apparently the last to go. I doubt your mum suffered in the last period, but I'm sure she knew you were there. You've gone through something huge and it's very difficult to accept, especially when it's been so fast. My dr has referred me for bereavement counselling, which I agree with. I have my first session on 6th December - it might be worth considering doing something similar if you can? I've no idea if it's going to help me, but I really hope it does. It's destroyed my dad's life too as they were soul mates. I'm trying to support him too whilst grieving myself so it's very tough. Don't torture yourself about not knowing - nobody can really say for definite when the time comes, only the body. She went to sleep and didn't really wake up, which is very similar to my mum. I just wish mine hadn't had the huge discomfort before she passed. I'm glad she went to sleep though and gradually slipped away. It feels a little more peaceful at least.
 

Sending  you lots of love. It's bloody awful. 
x