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Father has 6 months to live, how to cope?

Ellaprivate
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My dad has been given 6 months max. 
he's had cancer twice before so he was told it would always come back, he's been battling skin cancer for about a year now and sadly just nothing has worked and they're stopping treatment. 
 

he's really not doing well, he's not eating, he's getting skinnier every time I see him, has an awful cough and he's just wasting away. 
 

somedays I don't even want to come and visit, I almost just want it to be over and never see him again because the pain of seeing him is just too much. Somedays I want to spend every waking moment with him just to soak the time I have left up. 
I don't know how to deal with it, I feel like I'm doing a bad job of coping.
How do/did other people cope?

 

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    Hello,

    firstly let me say Iam so sorry you have been given such terrible news, I hope your family are holding up ok, it is a very difficult time to say the least! 
    My mum died of breast cancer just over 2 months ago now. We were told she had 4 months to live but it only turned out to be one.
    I remeber feeling very pressured to spend every waking minute with her because I didn't know when her last would be. Make sure to take time for yourself each day, it is a lot to take in seeing such a significant person in your life slowly dying, don't pressure yourself to make everything perfect. As hard as it is, try enjoy the moments you have left. Tell your dad everything you want him to know! I made sure to tell my mum how much I loved her which I look back to know and have comfort with.
    If you have a close relationship with your dad tell him how much he meant to you, even bring up memories with him and how much you cherish them. I feel doing this with my mum gave her comfort. 
    Most of all you must look after yourself and prioritize time for yourself. Make sure you have a good balance, it's ok to not want to see him sometimes, completely understandable. 
    Sending my love 

  • Offline in reply to Susara

    Hi, 

     

    thank you so much for your kind words. I'm so sorry for the loss of your mum. 
     

    I am trying to enjoy the time I have, the worst thing for me is him seeing me upset so I try not to talk to him about it, I try to just sit with him. I think it'll be shorter than 6 months he's already struggling so much. 
     

    I really hope I can work up the courage to tell him what I want him to know, 

    thank you x

  • Offline in reply to Ellaprivate

    I know exactly how you feel, I almost felt scared to tell my mum everything I wanted her to know. Hence why I do look back and think about things I wanted to say, however you never get to say everything you want no matter how much time you have. I didn't want her to know that I knew she was going really. I didn't want to accept it. 
     

    say what you feel needs to be said. It is a very difficult thing to have the courage to say what you need, and obviously is easier said than done! but I promise it will give you some peace in the future. There isn't much we can do except tell them we love them and they did a good job (depending on your releationship of course) XX

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