Losing my dad

Hi all, lost my dad a couple of weeks ago age 66 to lung cancer which had spread to brain, liver, lymph nodes. He was diagnosed 15th aug and was gone on 6th sept.

 

His wish was to be at home and me and my sisters cared for him 24/7 for the last week. He had to go into the hospice 8 hours before he passed due to the terminal agitation which the gp said would of been much worse due to the cancer in the brain, the agitation had gone on for days, he was literally pushing his whole bed across the room, trying to rip out his catheter and pulled his driver out several times. I just feel like we failed him and the pictures will haunt me forever. Just feel like he suffered so much

 

On top of his driver the nurses were having to give stat doses after about 2 hours, the nurses were amazing.
 

We had barely taken in that he had cancer and he was gone, all so fast and no symptoms in the lungs at all, we called an ambulance because he kept falling and it was the brain cancer. Now petrified about me and my sisters dying young too of this awful disease. Feel so low. Has anyone else witnessed horrific terminal agitation I'm so sad. 
 

I hope these pictures go from my head

Parents
  • Hello Sjb1955

    I'm so very sorry to hear about the recent loss of your Dad. Understandably this will have been a very difficult time for you all and it's natural that you are experiencing a wide range of thoughts and emotions at the moment. 

    I know that some of our members here will have lost loved ones and understand some of what you're going through at the moment. Hopefully, they will reply to share their experiences and support with you soon. 

    Grief can be overwhelming but you don't have to deal with it alone. I know that many people find it helpful to have some kind of bereavement support after losing a loved one. If this is something that the hospice offer then I'd really encourage you to take up that support. Having a safe space in which to talk about all that you, your Dad, and the wider family have been through can be invaluable. If the hospice is not able to provide that service then you can get in touch with a charity called Cruse. 

    I hope that you and your sisters are able to lean on each for support at this difficult time. Keep talking to each other. It's likely that you will have shared thoughts and emotions and be able to understand where the other is. 

    Thinking of you all. Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

Reply
  • Hello Sjb1955

    I'm so very sorry to hear about the recent loss of your Dad. Understandably this will have been a very difficult time for you all and it's natural that you are experiencing a wide range of thoughts and emotions at the moment. 

    I know that some of our members here will have lost loved ones and understand some of what you're going through at the moment. Hopefully, they will reply to share their experiences and support with you soon. 

    Grief can be overwhelming but you don't have to deal with it alone. I know that many people find it helpful to have some kind of bereavement support after losing a loved one. If this is something that the hospice offer then I'd really encourage you to take up that support. Having a safe space in which to talk about all that you, your Dad, and the wider family have been through can be invaluable. If the hospice is not able to provide that service then you can get in touch with a charity called Cruse. 

    I hope that you and your sisters are able to lean on each for support at this difficult time. Keep talking to each other. It's likely that you will have shared thoughts and emotions and be able to understand where the other is. 

    Thinking of you all. Best wishes, 
    Jenn
    Cancer Chat moderator 

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