Hi
I lost my dad 25th June this year and he was my best friend. We had such a unique bond. We shared so much together and everything happened so quickly. He was only diagnosed with lung cancer that spread to his lower spine and other areas in May and then died in a hospice a month later. Before that I'd take him alone and help him in and out of the car to hospital appointments for scans to see what his bad back pain was and he collapsed on me many times and felt stupid and embarrassed that he couldn't walk anymore and that his 30 year old daughter was having to catch him and wheel him about. I'd have done anything for him. I told him lean on me, I'll catch you.
I have a 18 month old son at home and if I didn't have him to carry on for I don't know what I'd do. I miss dad so much, he was a tower of strength to all, he was the most amazing man. He only got to see my son until he was 16 month old ans it's not enough, I wanted him to see him grow up! He adored my little boy, it made his day me bringing him to see him every day when he was off work poorly.
I honestly am so heartbroken, I don't know what to do without him, how to get by.
I've been so strong throughout this for my mum and brother and try to help them with their pain but when I'm alone or if something triggers me I'm a complete mess. Today when My Girl the film came on tv it set me off because my dad liked this film and we watched it together when I was younger. When songs he loved play on the radio I can't handle it. This pain is too much. :(