Hi Oliver,

I'm so sorry that you lost your Mum to breast cancer. My Mum passed away in December from bladder cancer and 7 months in it can feel like no time has passed but also an eternity.

I know what you mean about jokes and family gatherings. My Mum had a great sense of humour and we could always have a laugh together. She was always in amongst the family, looking after everyone, making cups of tea etc so now the house just feels so empty without her. I'm sure you feel the same way.

It doesn't sound crazy at all, it sounds completely natural. Youve lost one of the most important people in your life and had to deal with so much in looking after her. Your memories are there, they're maybe just too painful to think about right now and if anything like me, sometimes the nice memories get overtaken by all of the traumatic ones. I know I definitely push mine away as it can just hurt too much to think about. I've been speaking to a counsellor and she suggested writing nice memories down in a book - things my mum would say, favourite things, anything that comes to mind. I don't do it all the time but I find I can sometimes write things down and smile and cry, even though it's so hard. Is that something you think you could try? I think (and hope!) in time the difficult visions we have of our mums during their illness will fade with time and hopefully be replaced by the happier times. It will just take time.  

I find being on here can be so helpful as it's full of people who truly understand what you're going through so reach out whenever you need to.

Take care

Kat  

Hi Oliver,

I'm so sorry that you lost your Mum to breast cancer. My Mum passed away in December from bladder cancer and 7 months in it can feel like no time has passed but also an eternity.

I know what you mean about jokes and family gatherings. My Mum had a great sense of humour and we could always have a laugh together. She was always in amongst the family, looking after everyone, making cups of tea etc so now the house just feels so empty without her. I'm sure you feel the same way.

It doesn't sound crazy at all, it sounds completely natural. Youve lost one of the most important people in your life and had to deal with so much in looking after her. Your memories are there, they're maybe just too painful to think about right now and if anything like me, sometimes the nice memories get overtaken by all of the traumatic ones. I know I definitely push mine away as it can just hurt too much to think about. I've been speaking to a counsellor and she suggested writing nice memories down in a book - things my mum would say, favourite things, anything that comes to mind. I don't do it all the time but I find I can sometimes write things down and smile and cry, even though it's so hard. Is that something you think you could try? I think (and hope!) in time the difficult visions we have of our mums during their illness will fade with time and hopefully be replaced by the happier times. It will just take time.  

I find being on here can be so helpful as it's full of people who truly understand what you're going through so reach out whenever you need to.

Take care

Kat