my wife, my everything

hello, not sure what to say or do this is all new, my wife and the love of my life was diagnosed with cancer in 2016, it broke us both, but our glass's always half full, and we made the best of it, she fought so brave, she was and always will be a hero to me and our boy, sadly she lost her battle on 6th April 22. and the pain and loss i feel every waking moment is undescribable, I feel dead inside like some one has come and stoly my family, me and my boy are so close and try so hard to not fall apart in front of him, we have started counceling the pair of us, I dont know if it will help, i hope it will because my boy has his whole life ahead of him and dont want this to define the rest of his life, I read a book about a priest who's partner passed away and he summed it up so well, when your partner dies they take your future and identity with them, because i dont know how to be a widow i only know how to be one half of a fantastic mrriage that is no more. sorry for rambling on, just need to vent the million thoughts in my head at once, thank for listening if anyone has.

Parents
  • I am so very sorry for the loss of your wife and your son losing his Mum. Your not rambling at all. There must be so many thoughts and feelings that you will be trying to process over the coming months and that for your son too that writing them down and expressing them on here you may find helpful. Your walking a path of utter devastation that so many of us are currently walking or have walked. I lost my Mum in May and I am only now starting to really feel the utter heartbreak of losing my everything. Its life changing. The only things I can say is although there is nothing any of us can say to you to make it be ok there is some small comfort I think in knowing that there are others here that know your pain, fears, anxiety, heartbreak, loneliness, disbelief, shock, anger and everything inbetween. The book you mentioned was it 'The Maddness of Grief' by Richard Coles? I just read that and found it interesting and could relate to many things he mentioned. I seem to be drawn to these type of books at the moment, understandably.

    Your taking steps in the right direction with counselling. It is going to be a new, strange and painful journey for you and your son but in time there will be moments of light and laughter, it just happens. I find myself now sharing a laugh with my partner, often something connected to my Mum and we smile remembering her then I feel heartbroken again, its like light and dark. One good moment and then your right back into the depths of grieving again. I think this is normal. We just need to support each other and keep walking forward day by day. Everything I did I passed it by my Mum, shared her thoughts and feelings. Now I have to do everything without her guidance. Gosh its difficult isn't it? Your son will give you strength to continue, you will support each other. take good care of yourself and your son. Again I am so very sorry. I wish we didn't have to feel this pain, loving someone brings that awful pain of losing them. 

    Jane

Reply
  • I am so very sorry for the loss of your wife and your son losing his Mum. Your not rambling at all. There must be so many thoughts and feelings that you will be trying to process over the coming months and that for your son too that writing them down and expressing them on here you may find helpful. Your walking a path of utter devastation that so many of us are currently walking or have walked. I lost my Mum in May and I am only now starting to really feel the utter heartbreak of losing my everything. Its life changing. The only things I can say is although there is nothing any of us can say to you to make it be ok there is some small comfort I think in knowing that there are others here that know your pain, fears, anxiety, heartbreak, loneliness, disbelief, shock, anger and everything inbetween. The book you mentioned was it 'The Maddness of Grief' by Richard Coles? I just read that and found it interesting and could relate to many things he mentioned. I seem to be drawn to these type of books at the moment, understandably.

    Your taking steps in the right direction with counselling. It is going to be a new, strange and painful journey for you and your son but in time there will be moments of light and laughter, it just happens. I find myself now sharing a laugh with my partner, often something connected to my Mum and we smile remembering her then I feel heartbroken again, its like light and dark. One good moment and then your right back into the depths of grieving again. I think this is normal. We just need to support each other and keep walking forward day by day. Everything I did I passed it by my Mum, shared her thoughts and feelings. Now I have to do everything without her guidance. Gosh its difficult isn't it? Your son will give you strength to continue, you will support each other. take good care of yourself and your son. Again I am so very sorry. I wish we didn't have to feel this pain, loving someone brings that awful pain of losing them. 

    Jane

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