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I don't know if I can go to Dad's funeral

Jenn24
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Hi,

My Dad passed away a few weeks ago and I was able to spend time with him and was there when he passed. His funeral is coming up and am really torn as to what I should do. I currently feel like I want to be at home and watch it online by myself.  Since he died there has been a lot of arguments between my siblings which I have tried to stay out of. They will all be going to the funeral.

I feel if I'm at home I can just grieve quietly and remember him in my own way without any drama. However, I am worried though that it may appear disrespectful if I don't go so I am pretty torn. 

I am just interested to know if anyone has had a similar experience?

 

Thank you x

Parents
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    One of my siblings didn't go to an important family funeral ... got a lot of flack initially but after a while no one was bothered and understood the need to deal with feelings alone. Several other family members don't attend any funerals or weddings at all because of health issues/social anxieties.

    In an ideal world it really shouldn't matter, I feel.

    If you are watching on-line then you are in a sense present. And for some people who are immunocomprised and can't risk a funeral this is the best way. I think in a post-Covid world with funerals being live-streamed different norms are emerging, which may be a good thing. I can't advise you what to do because I don't know your specific family dynamics. I'm just saying that personally I wouldn't judge someone by whether they did or didn't attend a funeral in person. It shouldn't be seen as disrespectful in my opinion.

    I hope you manage to work it out okay and are able to say goodbye to your Dad in a way that is best for you. Maybe ask yourself a different question, not so much what will family say as what would your Dad have said? Take care. x

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    One of my siblings didn't go to an important family funeral ... got a lot of flack initially but after a while no one was bothered and understood the need to deal with feelings alone. Several other family members don't attend any funerals or weddings at all because of health issues/social anxieties.

    In an ideal world it really shouldn't matter, I feel.

    If you are watching on-line then you are in a sense present. And for some people who are immunocomprised and can't risk a funeral this is the best way. I think in a post-Covid world with funerals being live-streamed different norms are emerging, which may be a good thing. I can't advise you what to do because I don't know your specific family dynamics. I'm just saying that personally I wouldn't judge someone by whether they did or didn't attend a funeral in person. It shouldn't be seen as disrespectful in my opinion.

    I hope you manage to work it out okay and are able to say goodbye to your Dad in a way that is best for you. Maybe ask yourself a different question, not so much what will family say as what would your Dad have said? Take care. x

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