Hello Chrissy, I have been wondering how you are getting along.  My mum's birthday was 2 months after she had died, and just as you say, it felt completely unreal.  At the moment Chrissy, you are still in shock, this is why you feel numb, and this could last for quite a long time.  I remember being at work one day, 6 months after my mum had died, and I went to phone her (I used to phone her every day in my lunch break) and that is when it hit me like a bolt of lightening:  My mum wasn't there to answer the phone and never would be again.  I remember sitting at my desk shaking as the reality of it sunk in.  A friend of mine took nearly twenty years to cry over the death of his baby sister.  He held everything in all those years, but at some point it has to come out.  Chrissy, I know quite a few people who had grief counselling after they lost a loved one.  My cousin for example totally went to pieces when her dad died and she was sent by her GP for counselling.  She later told me that it helped her a lot........it can not bring our loved ones back, but my cousin said that it somehow felt like a huge relief to just be able to tell someone exactly how she was feeling.  I feel for you Chrissy, I really do, because I have walked in your shoes, and I wish that I could offer more comforting words, but the truth is, your heart is completely broken, and I know it is such a cliche, but time is the only thing that will get you through this........you don't get 'over' the people you have loved and lost.......you somehow get through it.  Take care mate, Violet, xxx

Hello Chrissy, I have been wondering how you are getting along.  My mum's birthday was 2 months after she had died, and just as you say, it felt completely unreal.  At the moment Chrissy, you are still in shock, this is why you feel numb, and this could last for quite a long time.  I remember being at work one day, 6 months after my mum had died, and I went to phone her (I used to phone her every day in my lunch break) and that is when it hit me like a bolt of lightening:  My mum wasn't there to answer the phone and never would be again.  I remember sitting at my desk shaking as the reality of it sunk in.  A friend of mine took nearly twenty years to cry over the death of his baby sister.  He held everything in all those years, but at some point it has to come out.  Chrissy, I know quite a few people who had grief counselling after they lost a loved one.  My cousin for example totally went to pieces when her dad died and she was sent by her GP for counselling.  She later told me that it helped her a lot........it can not bring our loved ones back, but my cousin said that it somehow felt like a huge relief to just be able to tell someone exactly how she was feeling.  I feel for you Chrissy, I really do, because I have walked in your shoes, and I wish that I could offer more comforting words, but the truth is, your heart is completely broken, and I know it is such a cliche, but time is the only thing that will get you through this........you don't get 'over' the people you have loved and lost.......you somehow get through it.  Take care mate, Violet, xxx

Hi Violet,

Thank you so much for your kind reply. How are you getting on and your husband? Hoping your both keeping as well as can be. Your message really helped, to know you understand what I am feeling makes such a difference. When you mentioned going to call your Mum at work really hit me because I use to call my Mum even when I was out with the dog for a walk and had just left her at home just to tell her where I was and ask if she were ok and general chatting, we use to laugh because by the time we finished talking I would be nearly home again and then we would be talking inside the home!! Memories eh? I do feel numb as you say and I know I am still in shock, perhaps I will digest it all bit by bit in my own time. Keep in touch. Take care.

Jane xxx