Mum passed away sunday 29th may. Its been almost a week and i dont feel anything. I just feel extremely tired, i havent gone home yet and dont feel ready to face reality. How do i make myself believe shes gone?
I'm so sorry for the loss of your Mum. It's the most painful, experience and having lost my Mum in December, I can imagine how you are feeling right now. Has your Mums funeral taken place yet?
The numbness is really really hard to deal with, and to be honest I still get periods of that now, 5 months after my Mum passed. The disbelief can be so overwhelming but our brains are trying to protect us as it's just too much to deal with on top of the trauma that we've gone through.
From reading your other posts you were there for your Mum throughout her illness so you'll be exhausted. You'll just have been going through the motions the last few months, running on adrenaline so give yourself time to physically recover - because all the stress and worry you'll have been feeling will have been getting carried in your body.
Your emotions will come in time Hannah, it's still such early days for you. You'll be in shock. When they do come, which might take a long time or it might be tomorrow - they might be all over the place - but that's all ok and totally normal. Everyone's experience of grief is different. I know for me, one minute I'm ok next I'm crying or filled with so much anger and it's exhausting!
Give yourself time and space, do what you feel like doing and don't force yourself. Be kind to yourself and give yourself time to recover. it sounds daft but I've honestly found baths to be so soothing and have probably never had so many in life!! Try and find the little things that make your suffering a little bit more bearable when you have the energy. Take care
Thank you for your message. I am so sorry to hear about your mums death.
Mums funeral is on the 13th of june so 1 week away, i thought it was plenty of time but it still hasnt registered shes gone. i have two young daughters too and its half term so i have to keep them busy and keep some sort of 'normality' for them.
I am debating going to see her in the funeral home to try to process this but i am frightened of what she may look like..i feel like if i dont i may regret it.
I am going to take my time and perhaps go for some counselling to try to talk about all my feelings around the way she died and the fact ill never see her again.
It must be really difficult juggling everything. I don't have kids yet but know my brothers found it really difficult balancing home life with everything going on with our Mum and now again looking after our Dad as he's now poorly. I hope you have some good support around you.
I was the exact same with the funeral home but I think because I felt the night my Mum passed was such a blur I was annoyed I didn't take the as much time to sit with her afterwards so In the end I did go and see her. It was a surreal experience but I also found it quite peaceful, I chose a nice outfit for her (instead of the pjs she passed in which she hadn't liked!) and I was glad that I'd had the chance to see her again. Maybe Ask the funeral home what they think because the one we used said that if they felt it wasn't right in terms of how she looked, they wouldn't have let me see her.
I'd really recommend counselling if you can. It's definitely helping me to process things and having someone neutral to talk to means you can just talk freely and not worry about any judgement!
I hope your Mums funeral goes as well as it possibly can and you can smile thinking of her, in amongst your pain.
It must be really difficult juggling everything. I don't have kids yet but know my brothers found it really difficult balancing home life with everything going on with our Mum and now again looking after our Dad as he's now poorly. I hope you have some good support around you.
I was the exact same with the funeral home but I think because I felt the night my Mum passed was such a blur I was annoyed I didn't take the as much time to sit with her afterwards so In the end I did go and see her. It was a surreal experience but I also found it quite peaceful, I chose a nice outfit for her (instead of the pjs she passed in which she hadn't liked!) and I was glad that I'd had the chance to see her again. Maybe Ask the funeral home what they think because the one we used said that if they felt it wasn't right in terms of how she looked, they wouldn't have let me see her.
I'd really recommend counselling if you can. It's definitely helping me to process things and having someone neutral to talk to means you can just talk freely and not worry about any judgement!
I hope your Mums funeral goes as well as it possibly can and you can smile thinking of her, in amongst your pain.
