How has this happened

How?Why?.........I am totally devastated my wife has passed away,8 weeks from being diagnosed for secondary breast cancer.......6 weeks ago we sat with the oncologist,she sai think you're going to be fine,you seem very stoic,going to put you on the gold standard treatment........my wife was horrific last 2 weeks of treatment,hospitalised twice.......we went for our next appointment with oncologist thinking this treatment hasn't worked she'll put her on another treatment........Only to be told the cancer is very very aggressive,chemo won't do anything.......go home and spend time with your family..........How could this happen so quick,so fast.........I'm heartbroken and I really don't know how I'm going to manage on my own with no family......I'm 52

 

 

 

 

 

  • Very sorry to hear about your wife. My wife was diagnosed with grade 3 (very aggressive), stage 3 cancer. Thetumours were large, and had it in lymph nodes.

    One thing i have learned since last year, there is absolutely no set pattern to how cancer behaves from person to person. As far as stage 3 goes, my wife was on the cusp of stage 4, due to the size, node spread and the aggressiveness. But somehow it was contained locally. I have read about others with less aggressive tumours, smaller tumours that were given a pre scan stage 2 diagnosis. And the outlook great. Only for the scans to come back saying there was a spot elsewhere. It makes absolutely no sense. Logic dictates they should have been in a better starting position than my wife.

    Same holds true for the treatment. Two women with the same cancer, exact same treatment, one gets a full response, the other doesn't get even a dent in her cancer. Again, makes no sense.

    I think what I'm trying to say, no matter how much you try to rationalise what happened to your wife, you will just never find that answer you're seeking.  You nor your wife did nothing wrong during the treatment, it was just sheer bad luck.

  • Hi,

    I am so sorry for you loss, I have recently lost my husband to cancer, he was 39 at diagnosis stage- he had stage 3 oesophageal cancer that had already had spread to his liver- he lasted 2 years- cancer works in mysterious ways and unfortunately some spread quicker and are more aggressive than others.

     

    I can't give you advise- I myself am feeling lost, but I'm getting through each day, remembering the happy times- love and hugs to you.  Chelle xx

  • Hi , it's heartbreaking news , I had breast cancer 2913 stage 3 lymph involvement did the whole thing chemo , surgery x 2 radiotherapy , back in work and 2 years later my partner diagnosed pancreatic cancer , did well after massive sugary , chemo etc now back stage 4 , now bile duct blocked , so jaundiced and now diabetic on insulin which I had to chase to be diagnosed over 2 stone weight loss in 6 weeks . I've no answer this cancer does what it wants , but I just wanted to say , sat here crying myself that I feel for you , maybe it will help you a tiny bit to know your not the only one going through this terrible stress , on a good day I get through it by thinking t least I met you and we had some brilliant times and we have fantastic memories , the other option is to have never met , I'm not explaining it to well , just enjoy every good minute . Xx