I lost my father to blood cancer 9 weeks ago it feels like yesterday but the pain I'm feeling is something I've never felt before .my dad was diagnosed 18 months ago with blood cancer I always thought he would be able to be cured or remission but that wasn't the case.I was always praying in my heart this would be wrong that they could fix him or help him he went trough 16 months of blood transfusions bone marrow biopsy's to no avail and then me and my son who is 11 and mum and sister was called to the hospital to say there was no more treatment and that was the end and my dad was coming home for end of life .he came home on a Wednesday and passed away the following Monday min my arms . I feel broken lost and scared my dad was the most important role model and the person that taught me how to be a father .I'm frightened with out him for the first time in my 52 years of life I feel I carnt breath or see anything I miss him so much before he passed away he held my hand and asked me to look after everyone and how proud he was of me but that seems like a life time ago I find myself carrying my dads picture in my hand and carnt let it go as I find if I put it down I I feel panicked with out it I miss him so much anx really carnt see my life with out him .I know other people loose there dads but you realize the pain they go through till it happens to you .
thank you for your time and advice
