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I lost my father 9 weeks ago I’m lost and broken

jas5672
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I lost my father to blood cancer 9 weeks ago it feels like yesterday but the pain I'm feeling is something I've never felt before .my dad was diagnosed 18 months ago with blood cancer I always thought he would be able to be cured or remission but that wasn't the case.I was always praying in my heart this would be wrong  that they could fix him or help him he went trough 16 months of  blood transfusions bone marrow biopsy's to no avail and then me and my son who is 11 and mum and sister was called to the hospital to say there was no more treatment and that was the end and my dad was coming home for end of life .he came home on a Wednesday and passed away the following Monday min my arms . I feel broken lost and scared my dad was the most important role model and  the person that taught me how to be a father .I'm frightened with out him for the first time in my 52 years of life I feel I carnt breath or see anything I miss him so much before he passed away he held my hand and asked me to look after everyone and how proud he was of me but that seems like a life time ago  I find myself carrying my dads picture in my hand and carnt let it go as I find if I put it down I I feel panicked with out it I miss him so much anx really carnt see my life with out him .I know other people loose there dads but you realize the pain they go through till it happens to you .

thank you for your time and advice

 

 

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    Hello jas.  First of all, may I offer my condolences to you for the loss of your Dad.  I'm afraid that there is nothing that anyone can say to you right now that is going to take away your pain, but what I can tell you jas is this:  You WILL get through it, I promise you.  You will never completely get over the loss of your Dad, but eventually you will reach a state of acceptance and be able to start living again.  I lost both my parents when I was still quite young, and even now, after all these years, I still miss them.  But that terrible raw pain is no longer there.  jas, it has only been nine weeks, you are still in the early  stages of grief, but when my cousin lost her Dad (my uncle Jim), she went to grief counselling and she told me that it really helped her a lot.  If you feel you need this, your Dr can arrange it for you.  There is a very nice community of folks on here jas, and I hope it is some comfort to you to be able to come here and talk or even have a rant if that's how you feel.  Sending you hugs, Violet, xx

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    I lost my mum last month to this horrible disease.

    Your dad (like my mum) hasn't gone anywhere and if you want to know where he is, just go and have a look in the mirror and you will see him looking right back at you.

    As long as you are here and your children (and their children) he will always be here and I believe he is looking after you and watching over you and would want you to live your life and be happy - like my mum wanted me to before she left us - in fact, she said that to me.

    My mum lost her parents whilst she was 6000 miles away from them but she carried on and lived her life and she grieved for them and missed them but when her turn came to leave this mortal coil, the person who came for her was her father and she left the day after after seeing him to take her home. My dad was there and witnessed her final moments on earth.

    Your dad isn't far away and what helps me is talking to them - they're listening, just keep talking to them and ask them to help you get through this very upsetting and hard time and they will. Take care and I am sending you my best wishes and strength.

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