I am so sorry for your loss..

I lost my dad 5 months ago too. He had a vicious sarcoma in his chest wall lining. They managed to remove the 15cm tumor but he was too weak to recover... we lost him 5 weeks after. 

I keep thinking of "this time last year" too. How did we not know? I am beginning to grief now, every little thing triggers me. I could be in the middle of work and BOOM I think of his face and I break down. It's so hard. It's the hardest thing... 

Hi GJS

Im so sorry for your loss. 

I just wanted to reach out after reading your post. In a couple of weeks time it will be 5 months since my Mum passed and it feels like it's getting harder everyday. I know exactly what you mean about everything being a memory of last year. It's so hard not to think back to when they were still here isn't it, especially when they've gone so quick. My mum was just 10 weeks after diagnosis so a little longer than your Mum.

I also find when I'm working I can distract myself but then when I stop I just can't handle it. It's horrible, I feel panic when I think about it too much. 

Just wanted to send warm regards and say you're not alone

I'm so so sorry for your loss, please allow yourself to grief - it's still early days yet, and there's no greater loss than a mother. 
My mum passed away last March, similar to your situation, she was diagnosed with bowel cancer in Feb 21, within 6 weeks she had passed away. It all happened so fast, and even now I still struggle to comprehend everything that happened, so quickly. 
But I've learnt that it's okay to feel like this, my mum was my mum for 27 years, so I can't possible be healed within 14 months. It will take a lifetime to heal.

A quote I read, that puts it all into perspective, Andrew Garfield: 

"I hope this grief stays with me because it's all the unexpressed love that I didn't get to tell her".