Hi LTcon, first of all may I offer my condolences to you on the loss of your mother.  I can relate to you completely because I went through a similar thing when my Mother died of cancer when I was 33.  Me and my sisters had been at the hospital with her that day and we came home in the evening because we were absolutely shattered and needed to sleep.  Later that night we got the dreaded phone call.......our mum was dying.  We got a taxi to the hospital only to be told that we were too late by about 3 minutes.  We were devastated.  You are still in the very early stages of grief, you are still in shock.  It's only been 3 months and what I can tell you is this:  Almost everyone who loses someone they love feels guilt afterwards........we always think that we could have done more, but reading your post it is so apparent that you did EVERYTHING that you possibly could for your Mother, and you must remember you are not super-human......none of us are.  You needed to sleep, you were exhausted, and I bet if your Mother could speak to you she would tell you how proud of you she is and how she knows that you looked after her and was there for her when she needed you the most.  What I can tell you is that one day, the raw, agonising pain that you are now feeling will subside......don't get me wrong.........you will never COMPLETELY get over the loss of your Mother........but you will come to a point of acceptance, and all of those lovely memories you shared with her will make you smile and laugh.  There are various stages of grief......after the shock and the guilt subsides comes the anger.......WHY did MY lovely Mother have to die?  WHY HER?  Again, this is very natural.  You will get through this my dear, but it takes time.  God bless you, xx

Hi LTcon, first of all may I offer my condolences to you on the loss of your mother.  I can relate to you completely because I went through a similar thing when my Mother died of cancer when I was 33.  Me and my sisters had been at the hospital with her that day and we came home in the evening because we were absolutely shattered and needed to sleep.  Later that night we got the dreaded phone call.......our mum was dying.  We got a taxi to the hospital only to be told that we were too late by about 3 minutes.  We were devastated.  You are still in the very early stages of grief, you are still in shock.  It's only been 3 months and what I can tell you is this:  Almost everyone who loses someone they love feels guilt afterwards........we always think that we could have done more, but reading your post it is so apparent that you did EVERYTHING that you possibly could for your Mother, and you must remember you are not super-human......none of us are.  You needed to sleep, you were exhausted, and I bet if your Mother could speak to you she would tell you how proud of you she is and how she knows that you looked after her and was there for her when she needed you the most.  What I can tell you is that one day, the raw, agonising pain that you are now feeling will subside......don't get me wrong.........you will never COMPLETELY get over the loss of your Mother........but you will come to a point of acceptance, and all of those lovely memories you shared with her will make you smile and laugh.  There are various stages of grief......after the shock and the guilt subsides comes the anger.......WHY did MY lovely Mother have to die?  WHY HER?  Again, this is very natural.  You will get through this my dear, but it takes time.  God bless you, xx