My lovely dad passed away last May, I was on my own with him because my brother couldn't hack it. I stayed with him holding his hand right until the end 9pm to 11ish. He looked over at me about twenty minutes before he took his last breath and I said to him "its ok dad I'm not going anywhere, I'll be here for as long as you want me, your stuck with me" then his heart just stopped beating. I knew immediately he'd gone to be with his loved ones. Everyone say's it gets easier but I'm struggling inside, my heart actually feels pain. He was my best friend, confidant. He was my mum and Dad because he raised me, when my mum suddenly left when I was aged 10. I'm having hypnotherapy counselling which kinda helps. But I'm over in Spain for a week sorting out his probate. And my brother  wants his house in England and Spain sold as he wants the money. And I'm the one he's leaving to deal with everything. He couldn't even be bothered to help with our dads funeral arrangements. It feels like piece by piece anything linked to my dad is being gotten rid of. Because he wasn't particularly close with him. Whereas my dad was a huge part of mine and my childrens daily life. This pain is unbearable, just wish I could hug, hold and talk to my dad for one last time. Hope there is Heaven as I can't wait to see him again. It bloody hurts!