i cant cope with my mums death.

im 16 and in my final year at school. last year just after my birthday she told me she had pancreas cancer, it was tough for me but i knew after googling about it that it wad a death sentence. On the 27th december she died at 10:10am as she caught covid at her hospice and we think with the cancer and covid that it was too much for her but she was so strong to fight for how long she did. i went back to school on monday because im in my final year and have exams soon, but whatever i do all i can think about is that i cant see her again for the rest of my life, and i just feel jealous of everyone and their perfect families and angry when they complain about stupid things because id die myself to argue with her again. everyday gets harder and harder, struggling to even get up, dragging myself to school, sitting in every lesson just thinking and pretending im fine and im sick of everybody, my friends, my teachers, even random people just tredding water around me, i know they mean well but i just want to be treated like a human and not the boy that everyone knows mum died. also, i keep feeling physical pain in my chest when i think about her and grieving just isnt easy and im angry with myself because i know all she would want is for me to be happy but i cant even force myself to, everyday i just dread having to put on a smile and act like im happy when all i think about is her. i miss her so much.

Parents
  • Hi there. So so sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I don't think there is ever an age where you feel ready to lose a parent. And unfortunately this cancer is unforgiving. 
    You are so right though, your mum would want you to try your best to be happy. It might seem unthinkable at the moment but as your life goes on you will find happiness in other things/people. You will find a reason to keep going. 
    Remember no one's relationship is perfect and most put on a front so what you see is not necessarily the case. 
    You have been dealt a hard blow very early in life but don't let it define you, if possible learn from the unthinkable and allow it to make you a better, stronger person. 
    As a young cancer fighter, I can truly say life is hard and sometimes things happen that we can't prepare for and that make us feel like giving up completely. But you will find strength and light in your life again. The circle of life can be long or way too short. We can't control it so make the most of every day. Sending many well wishes and hopes for the future for you. 
    Also, don't do it alone. There are lots of support services out there. Contact your nearest Maggies centre and explain how you are feeling (they are amazing) or even your GP who can start the ball rolling to get you the support you need <3

Reply
  • Hi there. So so sorry to hear you're feeling this way. I don't think there is ever an age where you feel ready to lose a parent. And unfortunately this cancer is unforgiving. 
    You are so right though, your mum would want you to try your best to be happy. It might seem unthinkable at the moment but as your life goes on you will find happiness in other things/people. You will find a reason to keep going. 
    Remember no one's relationship is perfect and most put on a front so what you see is not necessarily the case. 
    You have been dealt a hard blow very early in life but don't let it define you, if possible learn from the unthinkable and allow it to make you a better, stronger person. 
    As a young cancer fighter, I can truly say life is hard and sometimes things happen that we can't prepare for and that make us feel like giving up completely. But you will find strength and light in your life again. The circle of life can be long or way too short. We can't control it so make the most of every day. Sending many well wishes and hopes for the future for you. 
    Also, don't do it alone. There are lots of support services out there. Contact your nearest Maggies centre and explain how you are feeling (they are amazing) or even your GP who can start the ball rolling to get you the support you need <3

Children
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