Here for you at Xmas...

I just wanted to say that I know all too well the pain of losing someone to this awful disease. And the devestation it leaves behind. This is my second Christmas without my best friend, my wonderful Mum. And it's tough. It hurts. But I'm surviving. It's what she taught me to do!

I want you all to know that I am here, if you need to unload, just someone that'll listen to you. To read your words. I have a space. You're not alone. You have support.

Whilst you may not feel like celebrating this year, that's ok. And maybe you feel guilty if you do feel joy. Perhaps for a moment or two, you forget and actually have fun. That's ok too. There isn't a wrong way to feel. Both joy and sadness can exist in exactly the same moment, at the same time, in the same place. Embrace your emotions, whatever they may be. And validate yourself.

Here's my gift to you this Christmas. Some hope.

I've come to learn that grief isn't something that disappears. Would we really want it to? Think about it. When we lose someone we care so deeply about, it's only natural that these range of emotions, thoughts and memories will last. Imagine grief as a large pit, that stays the same size, instead of getting smaller or bigger. What changes, is the space around the pit. At first, it's all we can focus on. As time goes by, it's still there. We can find it if we want it. We can see it, sometimes without looking for it. But eventually, flowers grow around the pit. As the minutes, the hours, the days, the weeks, the months and the years go by, the enviroment around the pit adapts. This is your life. Whether it's a career, family, children, relationships, hobbies, travel, or anything else you hold dear. We focus on the grief less. It's still there. But we learn to cope with it, accept it and maybe even embrace it.

My love and thoughts are with you all xxx

  • Hiya my husband passed on November 11th 2020 so second xmas  but feel worse this Xmas got fantastic children and my beautiful granddaughter they keep me going  went for lunch tried to look happy but it was so hard just miss john my husband of 44years so much you take care of yourself lv mossie x

  • That's so nice of u to think of others at this hard time. I have 4 children and usually love Xmas but my Mother in law passed 6 weeks ago aged 60 and I am just devastated and obviously with her not being my Mam I feel I don't have a right to be so upset. I'm a very soft and emotional person anyway and I'm sure people are fed up with me sobbing the whole time but  hurting so bad and hate knowing my husband is hurting so much more than me. Such a tough time of year for a lot of people. Feel for everyone experiencing this pain. 

     

     

  • My mum went today 2am I'm lost

  • Thank you for posting. My Mum left us 4 weeks ago wow what a roller coaster and I don't know how I should feel so reading this has helped me. Mum loved Christmas it was always a big deal and me and my family love Christmas but it's been the hardest one ever. You try to carry on but then I find I'm feeling guilty for being miserable and  guilty if I forget and laugh at something. I'm trying to be normal and keep busy. Sometimes I'm feeling angry. I'm not sleeping very well just keep remembering the last few days with Mum they were quite upsetting at times. I'm comforted by the fact that she was at home where she wanted to be with her children around her and I felt she waited for me to wake up to be with her before she went. Thinking of everyone that is missing someone.

  • Hi, my deepest condolences. Feeling lost is natural, if you feel like you want to cry, let it out. Grief manifests in different ways. Please take care of yourself, and feel free to reach out if ever needed/wanted