Here for you at Xmas...

I just wanted to say that I know all too well the pain of losing someone to this awful disease. And the devestation it leaves behind. This is my second Christmas without my best friend, my wonderful Mum. And it's tough. It hurts. But I'm surviving. It's what she taught me to do!

I want you all to know that I am here, if you need to unload, just someone that'll listen to you. To read your words. I have a space. You're not alone. You have support.

Whilst you may not feel like celebrating this year, that's ok. And maybe you feel guilty if you do feel joy. Perhaps for a moment or two, you forget and actually have fun. That's ok too. There isn't a wrong way to feel. Both joy and sadness can exist in exactly the same moment, at the same time, in the same place. Embrace your emotions, whatever they may be. And validate yourself.

Here's my gift to you this Christmas. Some hope.

I've come to learn that grief isn't something that disappears. Would we really want it to? Think about it. When we lose someone we care so deeply about, it's only natural that these range of emotions, thoughts and memories will last. Imagine grief as a large pit, that stays the same size, instead of getting smaller or bigger. What changes, is the space around the pit. At first, it's all we can focus on. As time goes by, it's still there. We can find it if we want it. We can see it, sometimes without looking for it. But eventually, flowers grow around the pit. As the minutes, the hours, the days, the weeks, the months and the years go by, the enviroment around the pit adapts. This is your life. Whether it's a career, family, children, relationships, hobbies, travel, or anything else you hold dear. We focus on the grief less. It's still there. But we learn to cope with it, accept it and maybe even embrace it.

My love and thoughts are with you all xxx

Parents
  • Thank you for posting. My Mum left us 4 weeks ago wow what a roller coaster and I don't know how I should feel so reading this has helped me. Mum loved Christmas it was always a big deal and me and my family love Christmas but it's been the hardest one ever. You try to carry on but then I find I'm feeling guilty for being miserable and  guilty if I forget and laugh at something. I'm trying to be normal and keep busy. Sometimes I'm feeling angry. I'm not sleeping very well just keep remembering the last few days with Mum they were quite upsetting at times. I'm comforted by the fact that she was at home where she wanted to be with her children around her and I felt she waited for me to wake up to be with her before she went. Thinking of everyone that is missing someone.

Reply
  • Thank you for posting. My Mum left us 4 weeks ago wow what a roller coaster and I don't know how I should feel so reading this has helped me. Mum loved Christmas it was always a big deal and me and my family love Christmas but it's been the hardest one ever. You try to carry on but then I find I'm feeling guilty for being miserable and  guilty if I forget and laugh at something. I'm trying to be normal and keep busy. Sometimes I'm feeling angry. I'm not sleeping very well just keep remembering the last few days with Mum they were quite upsetting at times. I'm comforted by the fact that she was at home where she wanted to be with her children around her and I felt she waited for me to wake up to be with her before she went. Thinking of everyone that is missing someone.

Children
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