Hi,

I have been in a similar situation except it was me who was diagnosed with cancer having only being with my partner 9 months. I told him he could go as I didn't want him to deal with it. Anyway like yourself he said he was going nowhere & was a godsend  to me. I had surgery, chemo & radiotherapy. The only advice I can give is that when going through chemo big meals didn't appeal to me. I preferred bland tasting things. Also lots of ice poles and ice cream was easier to stomach than solid foods. Id also say to get your boyfriend yo drink as much water as he can on chemo days and the days after I found it helped flush it out quicker. Just be there for your boyfriend but don't  over fuss around him as if he is anything like me he won't want the fuss. I have now Been given the all clear and only take a tablet now everyday so I am out the other side.

Hope all works out well for you both 

I was never a great fan of water either but I just drank it even adding diluting juice..fluids seemingly help flush the chemo through your system and I found I didn't have really bad side effects.

Yeah I felt guilty putting him through it & I would say to him this isn't what you signed up for. That's why I said just to go and meet someone who wasn't ill. He said he wasn't going anywhere and would be there no matter what. 

I was diagnosed in March and my treatment ended about 2 weeks ago so I had about 6 and a half months of treatment. Now I will be on tablets for at least 10 year to try stop the cancer returning. 

We are great as a couple now and if anything it will make the 2 of you stronger. It takes something like this to actually put things into perspective. Try keep your everyday life as normal as possible whilst your boyfriend goes through his treatment as he won't want you missing out on anything to look after him. I would go off my head when my partner suggested not going somewhere so he could sit in with me. I made him go. The day of Chemo and the following day I was happy just being in my bed on my own as it does take the energy out you. Fingers crossed your boyfriend gets on well with his chemo and gets the results he needs. 

Hi when I had chemotherapy I found ginger ale tasted good most other things tasted strange and not very good, same with food couldn't eat much but preferred strong tasting things like curry and chills (not to hot though) .

Good luck with your partner's treatment and things go smoothly for you Both now and in the future.

Keep positive .   Billy

Thank you - this is so helpful I can't even explain to you!

I said the same thing about being there for him all the way and I truly mean that. However, we have identified we are maybe better as very good friends instead of as a couple and in the process of moving house so it's all come at a really inconvenient time (I know there never is a good time for it but I feel like this combination just adds to the stress).

Anyway, I said even if we are friends and not meant to be together romantically, I'm still not letting you go through this alone, I want to be there for you and although I'm worried and anxious about it, I am confident I can really be there and help him through the process.

We haven't decided if we want to stop being a couple and just friends as we have enough on our plate, however we are both happy with how things are and we get on very well but it is still in the back of my mind, of course.

That's great news, I'm so happy you and your boyfriend are great now :) 

With regards to your everyday life, my boyfriend's cousin had the same when he was 17 but he had stage 4 so much worse. And his family are saying how I need to stay home and to not go out as much as I can to prevent bringing infection home. Would you agree with that? What was your experience of this, did you pick up infections easily etc?

So sorry for all the questions and essays but it's so nice to speak to someone other than my boyfriend or his family. 

Hi Billy, 

Thank you - that's also what the doctors have explained, they said as he loves spicy foods now he will probably find his tastebuds change and go the over way. 

Thank you :)

I obviously don't know you but maybe your boyfriend is saying just for use 2 be good friends so that he doesn't feel he is burdening you. I could understand the reasoning behind that but he probably doesn't mean it nor want that. Deep down he probably still wants you and him to be a couple. Let's hope it works out for you both.

I was very paranoid about infection and still am as my immune system is now classed as severely immune suppressed. I have had 3 covid jags. I never allowed a lot of people into my house & never attended any parties or weddings we got invited too as there would be too many people and it's too risky whilst going through chemo. I also done home tests probably 3 times a week and my partner done them too. We still went out to the pub and for dinners etc but just not to places that were really busy or crowded. It's not a case of you can't go out it's more you have to be a bit ocd about sanitising everywhere you go and just being sensible really. I developed one chest infection after a chemo session and it delayed my next one but apart from that I had no other infections.

I don't mind answering any questions as I have been through it all. All I can say though is that just keep thinking by Easter next year he should be through the worst of it and hopefully you both can get back on track. It probably seems such a long time away just now but trust me it will go in quick once he gets the treatment started.

Perhaps, however I think they are not connected but more that he feels this is drifting into a friendship naturally. But as I say, we're both happy for now so will take a day as it comes and focus on him getting better.

I can imagine! What about your boyfriend, did he also have the covid vaccines? I'm used to being careful as my mum is high-risk and I was living at home when covid started and just after the lockdown so I had to be careful. I'm always testing now and being cautious, I also have OCD so everything is always clean.

I'm just getting over a bad cold and cough but luckily I don't think he has caught it and I'm starting to feel better. I have a friends house party this weekend, where there will be around 40 people and at the end of the month I'm attending a large event where there will be thousands of people, I think upto 7500. Even though I have purchased tickets, I'm not too sure if it's a good idea to go depending on how he feels and how the treatment goes.

Thank you - I've been thinking that and I've been picturing us in the future when everything is good again.