Hi stella, ive come across your post by accident looking for info on my dad. Its as if i wrote your post. My dad has stage 4 bowel cancer which at the point of diagnosis had already spread to his liver. Diagnosed in september 2020 although the tests started in the January but lockdown meant the full diagnosis took 9 months! My dad was never offered treatment and was given an average of 1 year. Up until recently hes been my normal beautiful dad but a month ago he had malignant ascites drained 5 litres, the whole lot was back the very next day and is getting worse every day. Hes stopped eating (wont say why) not drinking much at all and i know the fluid is also now in his chest as his discharge letter mentioned it. He is short of breath, his voice seems to have changed as if he has a sore throat and is coughing more. I have phoned his GP to say i feel its cruel to leave him like this and she told me its just part of the dying process and there is nothing they can do except to drain it again but that is pointless for a few hours relief. I feel so helpless, he lives alone, has never once complained and wont even take a paracetamol, wont have carers, nothing. I believe he is powering through to protect me. Ive bought him a bed to try get him to come stay at mine but he wont. I just dont know what else to do. Recently hes stopped watching tv too and often just lies in bed in silence,  its just so sad. I hope your mother in  law is ok and if you got anything sorted for her please share it with me. Water tablets are not allowed for my dad as they are affecting his kidney function. I also wondered if a permanent drain was an option for some relief xx

Hi stella, ive come across your post by accident looking for info on my dad. Its as if i wrote your post. My dad has stage 4 bowel cancer which at the point of diagnosis had already spread to his liver. Diagnosed in september 2020 although the tests started in the January but lockdown meant the full diagnosis took 9 months! My dad was never offered treatment and was given an average of 1 year. Up until recently hes been my normal beautiful dad but a month ago he had malignant ascites drained 5 litres, the whole lot was back the very next day and is getting worse every day. Hes stopped eating (wont say why) not drinking much at all and i know the fluid is also now in his chest as his discharge letter mentioned it. He is short of breath, his voice seems to have changed as if he has a sore throat and is coughing more. I have phoned his GP to say i feel its cruel to leave him like this and she told me its just part of the dying process and there is nothing they can do except to drain it again but that is pointless for a few hours relief. I feel so helpless, he lives alone, has never once complained and wont even take a paracetamol, wont have carers, nothing. I believe he is powering through to protect me. Ive bought him a bed to try get him to come stay at mine but he wont. I just dont know what else to do. Recently hes stopped watching tv too and often just lies in bed in silence,  its just so sad. I hope your mother in  law is ok and if you got anything sorted for her please share it with me. Water tablets are not allowed for my dad as they are affecting his kidney function. I also wondered if a permanent drain was an option for some relief xx