hello Ellliebm,

                        it can be soul destroying watching someone you love struggle through chemotherapy as it takes away the person you knew previously and replaces them with a struggling shell.. It becomes increasingly difficult to visualise them emerging intact from the other side of this treatment,and your concerns are understandable.As a former recipient of both chemo and radiotherapy l have to say that until god forbid,you go there yourself,it is hard to appreciate the degrree of complete exhaustion this treatment bestows upon your body and all of its functions..

                                                                                               Thats the negatives,lets think about the positives.It may well be the case that the inital treatment is potent in a planned move to hit the cancer hard to put it into remission.Since the chemo effect is cumalative each treatment round leads to increased tiredness,but this does recede as treatments are finished or subsequently eased back as the tumour growth is stopped and stabilised,allowing much smaller doses which are easier tolerated..Please do not lose sight of the fact that the person you know and love is still there and can come back to you again after the current tough love regime is eased, my own recollection was like being held by only one toe over a bottomless void ,and difficult to see a way back from what looked like the inevietable,but after many small steps 7 years later and living life better than ever shows the possibilities.

                                                                                                                                  Its  definitely a hard journey but not necessacerily a hopeless one,you just have to accept it can take time and hold your faith,which l hope is well rewarded in the fullness of time,

                                                                                                      take care of yourself and all those around you,

                    David

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Hi [@elllliebm]‍ 

First of all, lots of {{{Hugs}}}  I can't imagine being in your situation apart from the fact it must be so very hard on you. 

Have you thought of contacting someone at Cancer Research for support, or even MacMillan.org for support.  There will be staff there who will be able to support you in many ways, including listening to your concerns etc. I'm sure you'd find a lot of help there.

Wishing you all the best  {{{Hugs}}} 

Hi David,

thank you for your reply it really helped put into perspective how my dad really feels as he doesn't really talk as much and especially about his feelings. Right now he's on his 3rd round of chemotherapy, sorry to be asking so many questions but do you think it's normal he's staying in bed and lost his appetite? It seems like he's getting worse with it as he was usually bad for a few days after chemo then he was okay but now he's tired all the time. It really pains me he could be feeling trapped inside his own body right now, personally being only 18 i feel very confused and that i lack information on all of this. i want to help him as best as i can, is there anything i can do?

Thanks

Hello,

I have thought about contacting the macmillan nurses etc but i guess i feel to scared and nervous too. My mum usually mentions them and talks to them so i feel like it's something i shouldn't be doing for now, like i should leave it for my mum. That's why i came onto here, it seemed more open and i wouldn't have to personally talk to the nurses as right now i feel a bit confused and lost in all of this. 

Thank you for the hugs <3