Hey Busby,

Im sorry to hear about your husbands diagnosis. The turn around and how fast things can happen is absolutely awful! Cancer is such an unforgiving disease. 
I can relate to what your saying about grieving for someone who is still here. I too am having a really hard time coping with the news of a terminal diagnosis of a loved one. I have spoken to numerous people on this board who have been lovely and really understanding. I also found speaking to Macmillan has really helped me. You can be feeling grief before a passing, it's all part of the process. It's so hard and I really send you and your husband love. Know that what your feeling is normal and you are not alone x

Hi I'm so sorry about your husband dignoses. Thank you for your reply it's comforting to know I'm not alone and my feelings of advanced grieving is normal.I have been so ashamed to tell anyone how I am feeling. My feelings and emotions are all over the place. I feel different emotions from day to day sometimes hour to hour, which is very hard to cope with mentally as I suffer from bipolar and anxiety disorder.Thankyou again for your reply take care x

Hi Marie

Mum is home and doing much better, a change of medicines has helped.

My Neutraphils were finally good enough, so started 3rd cycle, Tuesday.

I hope things start to improve for Ian, it's so hard when you are hoping to get the cycle started and it feels like your body is working against you.

all the best to you both and hope things approve.

Mark

Hi Mark 

I'm pleased that your mam is ok 

Good luck for your 3rd cycle.

Ian hasn't been well even though he hasn't had chemo for over 2 weeks he is still been sick can't keep anything down.

Gp has changed he's antisickness meds a few times now.

Tonight they have fitted a driver hopefully this should stop the sickness. Hopefully he will be fit enough for this Friday booked in again for 3rd cycle depending on bloods Thursday.

It is awful seeing him like this it's hearbreaking I feel like everything has stopped for us .

It's a strange thing but I just keep seeing us the way our life was our kids growing up everything we have done our wedding the best day of my life .

He was a different man I know he's not but it's so difficult to see the man I married .

I'm really struggling so lonely I don't see my kids because of covid and shielding they don't really phone much they have they own stuff going on.

I am really gratefull that I can talk to you and Allison 

Thankyou take care x

Hi Mark

How are things going for you ?

We still on the rollercoaster of getting Ian's sickness meds sorted 

He coudnt have the 3rd cycle he just wasn't strong enough

So the plan is now to get Ian built up and stronger before they can over him any other treatment 

It's really difficult because he had the sickness means he can't eat so then he's not getting stronger 

I'm so so worried 

Take care 

Marie x

Hi Marie

I'm sorry for the delay, I'm sorry to here your news, I really feel for Ian and you. My fourth cycle has not gone to well either, it has been the hardest, with all the side affects worse than before but I have now finished it and hvae to wait for a scan. I can imagine how you must be feeling, it was horrible both times when they said my bloods were not good enough to start my 3rd cycle. I hope things are getting better for you and Ian's strength is improving.

thinking of you both

Mark

Hi Mark 

I have some bad news Ian passed last Thursday 

I am devasted and heart broken there's no purpose to my life now 

I'm sorry that you are struggling with side effects 

I hope the scan shows good news  

Just please try to stay strong you need to keep eating and drinking  regular 

Take care 

Marie x

Hi Marie

Such sad news, I hope you can be with your family at this time, I have no words that will be of comfort to you, even knowing that Ian's pain has now stopped, is not really any good at this time.

My condolences and hope that in time your pain will ease. When we first spoke of your situation I said that was my worry, leaving my wife behind. We will be thinking of you 

Mark & Allison

Thank You Mark for your words of comfort 

I really want to thankyou for your support through our journey 

You stay strong and look after each other you will beat this 

Even though I won't be posting on here please keep in touch let me know how you getting on 

Take care 

Marie x

Marie

I've not been online for months and was on tonight and saw your sad sad news

Big hugs to you and your family    You supported Ian wonderfully til the end as far as I can read.  

Take care of yourself xxxx

Thank you so much for your condolences 

So kind of you to reply 

I hope you are doing ok 

Take care 

Marie xxx

Hi Marie

I still not sure what to say, I hope your family have been supportive and with the lock down restrictions gone, you are not alone. I thought I would let you know that things are looking good for me, which I find hard to tell you but talking to you helped and I thought you should know.

We are both thinking of you

Mark & Allison

Hi Marie

I still not sure what to say, I hope your family have been supportive and with the lock down restrictions gone, you are not alone. I thought I would let you know that things are looking good for me, which I find hard to tell you but talking to you helped and I thought you should know.

We are both thinking of you

Mark & Allison