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Feeling guilty when I leave my Nanas house

Swebb33
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My Nana got diagnosed with terminal lung cancer just before Christmas and has been given around 6 months to live. She ended up getting an infection last week and was taken to hospital. My granddad has multiple dementia but they cope living togehter still managing to get by as other family members take turns in cooking dinner and doing house work, this is made even harder by covid but we have had to put a plan in place that fits us as a family best to help care for them. For the past week I've been staying in their house just to help out abit more and now I've come home I've got an over whelming feeling of guilt for not being there and I'm unable to sleep as I'm so upset with worry about them not having anyone there (even if it's just to make them a cup of tea while they watch the tele). Does anyone else have this problem and if so what can I do to help? I'm a 22 year old girl and I have other commitments such as my job and I'm unable to focus on doing anything at all as I'm constantly worried. We have nurses starting next week, hopefully this will ease my anxiety

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    I lost my nanna 2 years ago, she lived alone. I felt guilty everytime I left her. I wish I could say it gets easier but I learnt even though other family members and overnight carers were there I still felt guilty I wasn't there. The night she passed away I had finished work and gone home to get changed when my sister rang to say she had gone. That to this day hurts that I wasn't there. I haven't grieved as she passed away in the January, I had a baby in the August and then my dad was diagnosed with liver cancer. My dad is getting worse day by day. He got told he wouldn't see August last year but is still with us. I know it's hard but try not to feel guilty hun. Try to do a plan with family so someone is there everyday. I know its easier said then done especially with covid. Try not to bully yourself to much. Life has to go on and can't be put on hold. You need time to. X

  • Offline in reply to Familyiseverything

    I'm so sorry to read about your nan. I can relate to you so much. My grandad got diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer in November and his prognosis was 3-6 month. He's still capable of doing day to day things but I visit him everyday and I too have massive anxiety and guilt when I leave. My biggest fear is 'is this the last time I will see him'. My head runs away with me and I get myself in such a state. I am totally crushed as he is my world and more like a dad than a grandad. I'm so scared for what's to come, I have no idea how to cope. Take care x

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