This is not acceptable behaviour and I know you're young but you need to tell him now.  It's difficult and my husband was very changeable during chemotherapy but the more I *** footed around the more he did it, so if he became angry I just walked away, they can't shout at themselves!  Ring his cancer contact and speak to them if possible.  If he wants food and tea let him do it himself, then he'll learn not to be rude to you.  Don't take this abuse, you're his daughter and should be treated with respect.  Hugs from me, Carol x 

Thank you for your reply. I have contacted Macmillan, they want me to phone an emotional advisor tomorrow. I've also contacted the loca Macmillan hub to see if he can get Macmillan nurse support. We lost my mom to cancer 6 years ago, I can't begin to understand how he must be feeling but the change in his behaviour is unrecognisable. I'm doing my best to help bit I feel like a crap person. 
 

I would phone his consultant but I don't have his consent to do that, and it is unlikely that he will say anything is wrong if he is asked. 

If you can get Dad to agree in a calmer moment he can agree that you can speak to anyone involved.  I assume that you are his next of kin so this should be done before he gets worse.  You are not an awful person, you are young and struggling with the worst thing, cancer.  I'm sorry about you Mum but Dad must not be unfair to you.  I'm pleased you have made some contacts and I'm here if you want to talk further.  I have two daughters of my own and if their Dad was behaving like this I would be very upset.  I'm on here every day so I'll follow your posts and see how things are.  Love Carol x 

Hi shivpie 

You haven't done anything wrong , please don't think you have,,.alot of people when they get cancer change because they have no control over there lives and have to rely on other people .

Most people keep clear when there like that until they learn it doesn't do any good,bad language just ignore it I know its not easy, have you had a word with Macmillan they may suggest carer's or something to give you free time,I think you have to get in touch with oncologist or Dr to arrange it,

Hope you're father's treatment Geo's well

Best wishes.

Billy

Thank you Billy.

My dad is stubborn. I hardly think he's in his room reflecting on his behaviour - but I could be wrong. Our local hospital has a Macmillan hub attached to it and I have emailed asking if they can offer us some support. However, I think reaching out may do more harm than good. But this behaviour cannot continue, I'm going to see how he is mid week and if he is still not coming out of his room and is snappy I will have to think of what to do next. 
 

I'm a bit scared to broach the subject with him at the moment. I don't like confrontation on the whole anyway.   :'D

Still no change - he is still in his room. But he has been down stairs for drinks and food, he cooked himself tea last night (didn't eat what I put out). 
 

I caught him coming up the stairs and asked if we could talk, he said no not yet and that was it. Which is the most I have got out of him so far.

I have got to go out for my vaccine later on and he has chemo tomorrow so we will see if he takes himself or even goes. 

Dad has been bundled off in an ambulance, high temp, sickness, high heart rate and shivering.

He was not keen to go to hospital, paramedics in a very tricky situation due to pandemic but he agreed to go in so they can do further tests.

Hoping this is a side effect of the Covid jab he had today and not neutropenia!