Hello

i wanted to reply to your post and see if I can help in any way. You are welcome to contact me through this chat, to express how you feel if that would help. I don't want to be intrusive at all, but a couple of things occur to me. Firstly I wonder if it's possible your husband is trying to protect you in some way, by talking of future plans.   It can be that each partner tries to shield the other from the pain of what is really going on. It came across so strongly that you need to talk about it, to really be honest. But that you and your husband have not managed to get to that stage yet. Secondly, on a practical level, the local hospice can  be a help to both cancer patient and partner. I am 56 and have stage 4 cancer, so have learned a lot about processes. My hospice has a 24 hour helpline for medical advice which I find a good support. The nurse visits me and I feel I can ask them anything, about pain relief, fears for the future etc. You are having a tough time. It must be very hard. Feel free to ask me anything and I will answer as best I can, with the experience I have. All the best, Karen 

Thank you Karen for your reply. I think my problem is my husband is in denial and doesn't want to accept his prognosis. Also like all mmen he doesn't want to talk about it. He's still receiving chemo hoping to extend what time he has, which I hope it does. He has very little side effects from his treatment so happy to continue. 

Women are happy to talk through their fears unlike most men, plus mine hates any fuss. No doubt that day will come when decisions have to be made, but until he's ready I don't want to force the issue and will continue to do things his way.

Thank you for caring.