Hello

i wanted to reply to your post and see if I can help in any way. You are welcome to contact me through this chat, to express how you feel if that would help. I don't want to be intrusive at all, but a couple of things occur to me. Firstly I wonder if it's possible your husband is trying to protect you in some way, by talking of future plans.   It can be that each partner tries to shield the other from the pain of what is really going on. It came across so strongly that you need to talk about it, to really be honest. But that you and your husband have not managed to get to that stage yet. Secondly, on a practical level, the local hospice can  be a help to both cancer patient and partner. I am 56 and have stage 4 cancer, so have learned a lot about processes. My hospice has a 24 hour helpline for medical advice which I find a good support. The nurse visits me and I feel I can ask them anything, about pain relief, fears for the future etc. You are having a tough time. It must be very hard. Feel free to ask me anything and I will answer as best I can, with the experience I have. All the best, Karen 

Thank you for your message. I completely understand, as you say, you have to be with whatever he needs and wants at this time. It's tough for you though. I suppose the main thing I have learned from all this is that emotional support can really help. I am sure you know that though!. You said you were incredibly sad. Of course  you are, who wouldn't be? Anytime you wish to just express how you feel. Pls feel free. I send you best wishes, whatever you are going through, karen