Thanks Billy ,you sound like you have a lot to cope with so thankyyou for replying.He was being really positive and rolling with all the treatment and even worked right through it all(hes an electrician)but I'm not sure if it's all this shielding and being at home but he's getting angry all the time,we can't speak to him without it turning into an argument and it's always our fault.I know it must be tiring being uncomfortable all the time and after 19 months solid treatment he says he can't cope and has had enough of everything.I'm just not sure what I can do as this behaviour is more upsetting than the cancer diagnosis.How are you holding this all together?

Hi Mimi. 

I have to consontrate on my wife, with her not being mobile at all i move her give her food and drink clean her after using commode so it's nearly full time apart from when she sleeps at night or i get weekly shop, then a nice neighbour comes round to watch her we have to carers come in the morning to wash her but i have to help because they aren't allowed to lift her, i usto do it but struggled to hold her and wash her down below. 

I still think your husband needs something to consontrate on and set a goal on doing it it doesn't matter what little holiday even a day out. 

If he starts arguing walk away he will soon realise it doesn't help. 

Hope you can get things sorted. 

Good luck and best wishes for the future for you both and your family of course. 

Billy 

Thank you Billy for your kind words,not a lot seems to help and now we can't see people at the house again it's all pretty isolating.You sound like you are doing a marve!ous job with your wife so keep smiling and I'll catch up with you again soon xx

Hi Mimi, 

I often find myself annoyed at my husband's moods/behaviour. He has a stage 4 brain tumour and things are stable right now but his tolerance levels are so low and if the kids are making noise (which is pretty much constantly) or doing something he finds irritating then he huffs and gets cross about it. At times it really impacts upon my eldest (10) and sometimes I find myself telling the kids off because I think it is a better alternative to him shouting at them. He will apologise but it's like living on egg shells sometimes. 
 

I wish I had something to offer other than the fact that I understand and I don't think we should feel guilty but am sure we inevitably will. 

Hi Wingingit, I'm so sorry for not replying to your kind message,I've not really had time to pick up my tablet and check messages ! I'm sorry to hear your in the same position as us, you really wouldn't wish it on anyone else.Unlike yourself, I have a 19 year old and a 22 year old so even though dad upsets them they are better prepared and understand his mood swings,they can also get in their cars and disappear till things calm down unlike your 10 year old,at that age it's alot to cope with and at the moment he can't even go out with friends to get out of the way.How old are your other children? ,you sound like you have a lot on your plate to cope with anyway bless you.I'm just on here trying to get some advice to help my husband as this is not how I want our time together to be remembered or to be remembered by my children for all the wrong reasons as we're a very close family as I'm sure yours is too.I hope this message finds you all well and that your husbands condition is still stable , keep smiling ,it makes you feel better xx