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Mum's battle with cancer

Winnie124
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After a tough few years of my mum getting over breast cancer it is now back in her spine. She has decided against chemo as it was so hard for her last time. She has chose quality over quantity of life wich I said i understand. But im just not ready to loose my mum. The doctor told me today that if it carrys on the rate it is it will be weeks to months

I cant even imagine how she feels and i feel so selfish that I'm struggling with dealing with it. I just dont want to loose her. I want to spend as much time as I can with her but she isn't able to go out and all I do is cry when I see her. Im only just 30 and im not ready to loose my mum. 

How do I stay strong for her when  I feel like she's just giving up. 

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    Hi Winnie,

    It's so hard for you. I understand where you're coming from. I lost my own mum when I was 25 to similar. It came back in her bones, and she decided to stop her treatment.

    There isn't much I can say other than to urge you to try to stay brave for her, and to try to enjoy your time with her. I can still close my eyes and see my own mum clear as day after so many years. I'm now 53!

    Listen to the things she tells you. She'll want to be sharing her wisdom - I know that, as I now have Stage 4 breast cancer myself, and I spend my whole time trying to pass on my knowledge so my kids can flourish without me when my time comes.

    You're not being selfish. But she also has every right to stay in control of her own cancer journey. Respect to her! She's a wonderful strong woman to be making her mind up about her treatment.

    I'm a terrible wuss!

    Have you been asking for help for you? Your mental health is so important too! Have you got friends to talk to about this? Please do phone the helpline at any time you need someone to chat to about this.

    You must take good care of yourself too at this time.

    By the way, even 28 years later, I still feel my own mum with me. It's not a sad feeling now. It is a lovely safe feeling ;)

    Xxxxx

     

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    Hi Winnie

     

    I have just been hit with the devastating news that my mum has pancreatic cancer and nothing can be done just palliative care.  We are so close and I too am not ready to loose her, she is my everything and the thought I won't see her again is just too much.  I feel drained from all the crying and not sleeping properly, I've never felt anything like this and the pain in my heart is unbearable.  I feel better after seeing her and spending time where we chat and talk about the good times we had and I do her hair n nails or try and watch a film but all she really does is sleep and barely eating.  We still have a bit of a giggle and look through photos.

     

    i try and put myself in her shoes and how she must be feeling mentally and physically but nothing will ever compare.  Just tell her you love her, lots of cuddles and how proud you are of your mum.

     

    xx

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