So sorry your partner isn't having treatment. You could tell him only way to stop cancer is with specialist treatment like chemotherapy. 

Cbd oil is a pain killer nothing else. And changing his diet won't kill cancer. 

I'm afraid legally it's up to him what he does. 

Alot of cancer patients do change their diet and lifestyle so they are stronger to survive treatment better and a better chance of keeping anymore new cancer at bay. 

Hope he changes his mind for the sake of you and your child. 

Best wishes for the future. 

Billy 

Hi Billy,

Thank you for your reply. I have told him all of this but he doesn't seem to get it.

I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle. 
 

Hello HellionMama

I'm sorry to hear that your partner has recently needed to have surgery for testicular cancer. I can imagine that it's been a really difficult time for you both. 

We do have members post here on the forum from time to time about relatives, or even sometimes themselves, not wanting treatment. I would say that the large majority of those people feel that is the choice they want to make because they're scared. 

Being diagnosed with cancer leaves many people feeling helpless and with a lack of control about things. It sounds as if your partner is maybe trying to feel as if he has some control over things by saying that he doesn't want chemo. I wonder if you've talked about things and what it is that he may be feeling anxious and worried about? Is it possible that he's more concerned about having treatment with the current Covid19 risks? 
Treatment for testicular cancer has very good outcomes for the large majority of men. If he choose to undergo chemo then yes it may be a difficult few months but the team will be there to support him and you through things and there will always be someone at the end of the phone. 

I wonder if you - or indeed he - would find it helpful to talk things through with one of our nurses? You're most welcome to call them for some advice and support. They're available Monday to Friday 9am to 5pm on 0808 800 4040. 

Whatever choice he makes, I'd encourage you both to speak to his Consultant about it so that they are fully aware and can offer support. 

Best wishes, 
Jenn
Cancer Chat moderator

Having seen the horrendous side affects my wife and mum suffered from cancer treatment I've already decided I won't have treatment if I'm diagnosed with cancer. Their treatment may have prolonged their lives for a period but at what cost, as the quality of their lives over their last months was heartbreaking. That said I would never critise anyone who decided to have treatment. My wife knows my position and is really upset about it, but she's come to accept it's my decision. Fingers crossed I don't get cancer, but as my son says you've got to die of something. 

Rafpo,

That is your choice but I can only say, faced with potentially losing your life, you might change your mind. Surely it would also depend on the prognosis? A lot of cancer is curable but without treatment it certainly would progress and become terminal. I've had cancer and it's terrifying. Saying things before you're in a position where your life is at stake is easy. 

Jane Ru...I appreciate your considered response. I actually had a cancer scare (i.e. beast cancer) which turned out to be a cyst. The breast clinic were surprised when I advised them if I was diagnosed with cancer I wouldn't want treatment. I'm 58 and really have no fear of death, but I'm scared of the actual process of dying. My wife went thru a livng hell with her treatment and I'm simply not prepared to risk repeating her experience. My medical records already have a DNR in them and I also have one in my wallet. 

Yeah, my wife had a rough time on treatment, and at one point, i said the same thing as yourself.

However, having never be in such a position myself, it's an easy thing to say. The drugs by their very nature are toxic, it's not glossed over, but well, the alternative is obvious. People do make these decisions and there's nothing wrong with either choice because an individual has full autonomy over their body, and no one should be able to override that right. No matter how difficult it may be for those around that person. Me personally, I'm not really in any position to actually say with any great conviction if i would now refuse treatment based of the experience of the last year. It ultimately got my wife into a position that she now has some hope for the future whereas it wouldn't have been the case had she refused treatment.

I always say, people should read what Steve Jobs (Apple co-founder) wife had to say about his cancer journey. He too was adamant his cancer would be cured or even kept under control using foods and other non toxic methods. His doctors were confident his cancer had a good success rate had he opted to go the conventional route. By time he realised his way wasn't doing anything to halt the cancer, it was too late. A decision he later came to regret. By the time he approached doctors to ask for conventional treatment, the cancer was too advanced.

ProfBaw...I understand where you are coming from. But to be honest life has become a burden so I really don't see any benefit in prolonging it any longer than is absolutely necessary. Also of all the people I've known with cancer none has lived passed 3 years, not one and all the medical professionals focused on was prolonging life and not on the quality of life. I'm sorry but I have little faith in the medical profession. Remember I was nearly there and told the doctors I didn't want treatment.