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Can't cope with watching my husband suffer.

Eimhin
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my husband was diagnosed with grade 4 bowel cancer 2017. He was given chemotherapy   unfortunately it came back and had spread to his peritoneal cavity. Last November he was sent to hospital for cytoreductive treatment. He was 3 weeks in hospital  there , we had the added pressure of being miles away from home on our own.  Pain was never an issue but about 2 months ago it was. After he was scanned he was told it had now spread to the liver.  He is back on chemo. Watching him suffer is terrible. Worse for him I know. I wish I could run away. Putting on this brave face is getting to the point were I just want to scream and scream. I don't know how to cope. He refuses to allow me to even talk about anything negative and asked me not to look so sad as it makes it harder for him. Im at my wits end. The isolation  because of corona virus has added to the whole situation. 

  • Hi Eimhin,

    I'm so sorry to read about what you and your husband are going through. I can only imagine how incredibly tough this must be. These situations are so hard not only for the individual affected but sometimes just as much to loved ones around them.

    I'm sure you're doing everything you can. It's really important that you can look after yourself as well as your husband - so if you aren't able to talk about certain things with him, make sure you have others around you who you can open up to. This could be other family or friends, or us here on this forum. We're always here for support, even if it's just a case of getting some things off your chest.

    Do your best for your husband but as I say take time for yourself too, and get any support that you are able to.

    Wishing you all the best,

    Ben
    Cancer Chat Moderator

  • Offline

    Hello ElmHin, firstly what a lovely photo of you borh it's nice to see who I'm replying to.  So I know how you feel as my husband has incurable lung cancer diagnosed 2017, now spread to liver and stomach Wall, he is 74 and now receiving palliative immunotherapy.  Why don't you join my thread that I've written for three years and you can vent on there or tell us how you feel.  We do get down as we are left coping with everything and that's hard.  We haven't seen family for months but have taken lovely rides out if we could and had friends round in the garden.  We are careful but Norman is of the opinion that he will live how he wants and I think the government guidelines are different if you are terminal so you don't feel trapped.  I try and speak to friends regularly, face time when I can and keep a smile on my face for him as it is him who will suffer.  Please join me and we can uplift you if you're having a bad day.  Many kind regards, Carol x 

  • Offline in reply to Dor06

    Hi

    Thanks for your reply to my chat or should I say my cry out for help. You sound like your coping with so much too. Cancer is a terrible illness. I'm a bit down today but I appreciate your reply very very much. I will write in a few days.

    M

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