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Husband in palliative care and deteriorating

Laura46
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I  have known my now husband for 15 years but we have only been married a year.i found my sole mate 15 years ago, I just made him work to win me over, he is 62 and I am 46, it doesn't seem fair, cancer isn't though.

We were told in nov 20 that he was in palliative care and since then he has undergone chemo and radio.

Due to the COVID 19 virus we have not yet received any results of this treatment, we Are due for a scan at the end of July. 

I have noticed that over the last few weeks there has been a decline in his health. He is sleeping more, slower in his movement and very little appetite, I know what this may suggest but I'm so scared.

i am writing to ask for any advice or help to deal with this awful situation that we find ourselves in.

Any advice would be helpful as I need to be strong for his family and mine and this is the only way I could think about providing the information,emotions and what to expect.

 

thanks

laurajane

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    So sorry to hear your situation. I so can relate to your post has i lost my husband of 36years only 4 weeks ago after a year battle with oesophagus cancer so went through the palliative care which i must say were absolutely fantastic. We was in the same position of tiredness, no energy and not eating. Its so difficult caring for someone you love when you can see them losing weight and deteriorating. If its any help at all i would advice to spend has much time together and sit and chat has much as possible. My thoughts are with you and your family. X
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    Hi...its such a scary time for you right now...iv just lost my husband of 32yrs to bowel and stomach cancer. The stage you're at now is the hardest part. It's not easy having to watch someone we love so dearly deteriorate in front of us and know we cant do a thing to make them better. All you can do is keep him as comfortable as possible. Let him know daily how much you love him ...talk to him about anything and everything...doesnt matter what. As long as you spend time together. When those panicky times hit you go for a walk...breathe deeply and slowly....make a cup of tea. I found great comfort in playing games on my tablet or phone to keep my mind busy. If you dont feel like answering the phone...dont...if you want to scream and rant with anger....do it..speak to your gp and your husbands medical team about your worries and how you're feeling  . Remember they're there for you too. Xxx

  • Offline in reply to AlexMatthew

    Much love and hugs sent to you just now too. I'm with you every step in your grieving journey.  From one wife to another. Xxx

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    Hi Laura Jane, I was in thee same frame of mind with my husband who has incurable lung cancer and after chemo and radiotherapy he slept a lot, ate very little and seemed to be deteriorating, he was 71 years old.  But he is now 74 and on immunotherapy treatment to keep him stable, so your husband could just be suffering the after effects of treatment.  I let mine sleep, fed him when he was hungry, encouraging him to get his energy back.  He also had anaemia and had a blood transfusion, so ask to have his bloods checked to see if he is the same.  Don't give up, I have fought every inch of the way and he is still here with his daughters and grandchilden.  Be pro active, ring his McMillan nurse and ask questions, they are a big help.  Try and stay positive for you both.  All my very best wishes to you both, Carol x 

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