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Dad has stage 4 prostate cancer

PeachyPoire
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I've been considering posting here for awhile as I feel really alone and finding it hard to deal with my dads diagnosis.

 

Before going to university in 2019 my dad was diagnosed with advanced prostate cancer, at the time he was feeling absolutely fine and in no pain. He refused chemotherapy and was put on hormone therapy to manage his PSA levels. At first they were in the 1000s and after a month went down to 100. I had to drop out of university as my mental health went downhill and I wasn't able to cope. My dads health has started to decline. His psa levels have started to rise and he's experinecing major back pain and leg pain, he was put on morphine a few weeks ago which got rid of all the pain but couldn't eat anything. He keeps going on and off his morphine medication as he wants to eat but throws it up if he does. He is losing his fighting spirit and it is hard to hear how in pain he is. He wants to give chemo a chance but I worry that it may be too late to manage his symptoms and only make him sicker. I don't think he has notified his doctors under his care for his cancer only his local GP. 
 

I am only 23 and his only daughter, I am terrified of losing my dad and it's hard to keep it together. I just don't know where to turn to for support, it feels like all people can say is I'm sorry and that doesn't get rid of the heartbreak and anger I feel. Keep feeling like I just want things to go back to normal but that will never happen. 
 

I just wanted somewhere to turn to that can kind of relate to my situation and for support 

  • Offline

    Hi.

    If your father does have chemotherapy there is still a good chance he will improve to have a better life, you don't say where his cancer has gone to. 

    Mine went from prostate to the lymph nodes, spine, ribs, pelvis and a lung, my psa was 1581 been on palliative care since February 2016 living with my uninvited guest.

    I went on hormone therapy then had chemo my psa dropped for two years to 0.03 been rising since beginning of the year it was 2.2 so still not bad.

    Tell your father with chemo there is always a chance and keep positive and keep fighting. 

    I actually am a carer for my disabled wife. So plenty to occupy my time. 

    Look after yourself as well. Keep positive. 

     

    Billy 

  • Offline in reply to Billygoatt

    Hello Billy,

     

    Thank you for taking the time to respond.

     

    I'm not exactly sure where it has spread to, it's in his bones, mainly hips and legs. He's having some more scans done soon but I'm unsure if they're for that. My dad struggles to understand paperwork and I'm quite forgetful when it comes to all the long words doctors use. 
     

    How do you find palliative care? I don't really know a lot about it

     

    I will let him know, thank you :) 

     

    I set up my dads tv with Netflix and setup a tv in his rooms when he's feeling too ill to be in the front room. He seems to be doing okay at the moment, he's been given some tablets to help with feeling/being sick and he's been managing to keep food down the past couple of days

     

    Hope you are doing okay,

    Emily

  • Offline in reply to PeachyPoire

    Hi Emily. 

    When first diagnosed oncologist said it was uncurable. Which is easy to understand you have treatment to slow or stop the cancer but it can't be cured, i changed oncologists original one retired. New one says palliative care so basically it's same thing. 

    I'm checked every three months blood, scans to keep there eyes on what's going on and treatment adjusted when needed.

    I'm lucky really where my cancer is doesn't cause many problems i was working in a factory metalwork, but had to retire to look after my disabled wife she needs 24 /7 care she has Alzheimers and parkinsons plus other problems, I'm her official carer.

    There are others on forum with high psa but they only come on now and again hopefully they will notice your string and join in. 

    I've just started on extra hormone therapy with psa rising so see what happens. 

    If you have any questions you think of ask away and I'll try to answer best i can. 

    Good luck with your dad's scans and any treatment. 

    Billy 

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