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Pancreatic cancer

mallcop
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hi everyone as I write this I find my self with crying over it. I have always been the strong one in the family the one people look at to sort things out. Today my dad has been told he has pancreatic cancer my self and sister were there when the doctor told him and its spred. I don't know what to do who to talk to im trying to stay calm on the surface but I'm cracking up. We don't knkw time scales yet. We don't knkw details either we have tk wait for a few days to get the answer we want 

  • Offline in reply to Lockie

    I'm so sorry. I don't think anyone understands how traumatic it is going through it until it happens. My dad has also been very angry at times and shouting at people and calling them stupid which is not in character for him at all. It really is awful seeing someone you love deteriorate so much. It sounds like he is very lucky to have you and your mum taking such great care of him.
     

    had the doctors told you how long they thought he might have when he was diagnosed originally? Did he have many symptoms? I hope you don't mind the questions. 

  • Offline in reply to Grievingalready

    Yes, it is very traumatic.. sorry to hear about your dad, yes not in my dads character either.. no, my dad didnt take the biopsy so we didnt know how long. He had sore back for a few months before being diagnosed and then just a month before diagnosed he had stomach pain,  so that's why he went to doc.. the last 2 weeks have been hard, all you can do is be there.. and remember to tell nurse/ doctor everything as they can up morphine etc..to make them more comfortable.. that's all we can do.. but I dont think my dad has long, as hasn't had a drink for a day. A lollipop is good, dip it in water to wet their lips. I spray lavender into the room, and today I played calming bird song on YouTube. My dad loved being outdoors so I thought I would take outdoors inside.  But dont worry everyone is different, my dads brother had the same and only lasted 2 months, I think my dad is a fighter.. I'm so proud of him.. take each hour/ day as it comes x

  • Offline in reply to Lockie

    That's such a lovely idea with the lavender and the bird song. I hope he really enjoyed it.

     

    Does your dad realise he's dying? My dad seems to think he'll still get better. Even this week he asked the palliative care nurse when he'll start to feel better and she had to tell nicely tell him that he won't. It's heartbreaking!
     

    Your dad certainly does sound like a fighter x

  • Offline in reply to Grievingalready

    Thanks, yes he is definitely a fighter, doc said he must have a strong heart.. 

     

    dad does know he is dying as he mentioned something.. I know he really wants to go, can see it in his eyes.. yes I think it helps the lavender as its calming sort of.. just want him to be at peace. 

     

    Nurse is coming soon, as agitated again, Marie Curie nurse staying from 10pm tonight. All I can say is do take all the help you can get, dont delay in phoning nurse if your dad is distressed, it's all you can do. And thank you for chatting it really helps to know we are not alone x

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