Hiya Jen, I thought it was only me that was going through this, I myself am in the situation my partner has ALL(acute lymphatic leukaemia). I get looked at with derision and have been called absolutely awful things, which has made me feel like absolute ***, I also have my own problems, peripheral neuropathy and neuralgia. I try my best to be patient but if I get wound up I snap back. He has separated himself from me, we live in a one bedroom bungalow, he has put a lock on the lounge door I am not allowed in, I stay in the bedroom or the tiny front garden we have, I cry every day and have started drinking vodka daily just to make me feel better (it doesn't). I don't want to be alive anymore and I don't know what to do next. So I sympathise with you, sending love TIGG

Hi, please don't hit the vodka, it gets better I promise you.....if your hospital has said they will bring your husband to remission they will, or alternatively they can prolong his life with treatment - some don't get treatment - so this is positive.    The treatment hits ever aspect of being human, your husband feels ,'less of a man, the treatment caused them to temporarily have psychotic episodes. My husband had them and gosh he became monstrous.  I don't think he could have found anything else to call me in the dictionary.  Your husband is in the wars, he can't see your needs or pain because of his own and of course his fear. But it ends, they return to who they were before even better because they feel guilty for things said.  And yes we may have to go through it again, and at the end, but you will find the strength.   I had emergency surgery whilst my husband was very ill....he wouldn't let nurses shower him. We were in adjoining rooms in the hospital - he came to me 10 hours after surgery, to ask me to shower him, I hadn't full come round!!!!  So you see nothing registers with them when they are so sick....- it's just a great big dose of the harshness of reality. Also your husband locks himself away because he doesn't want you to see the awful aspects of vomiting, toilet accidents etc....you can only do as much as you can..... remember these things will come to us one day as well - I hope we have someone patient around us.  Keep your spirits up.....all the best.

Hi, please don't hit the vodka, it gets better I promise you.....if your hospital has said they will bring your husband to remission they will, or alternatively they can prolong his life with treatment - some don't get treatment - so this is positive.    The treatment hits ever aspect of being human, your husband feels ,'less of a man, the treatment caused them to temporarily have psychotic episodes. My husband had them and gosh he became monstrous.  I don't think he could have found anything else to call me in the dictionary.  Your husband is in the wars, he can't see your needs or pain because of his own and of course his fear. But it ends, they return to who they were before even better because they feel guilty for things said.  And yes we may have to go through it again, and at the end, but you will find the strength.   I had emergency surgery whilst my husband was very ill....he wouldn't let nurses shower him. We were in adjoining rooms in the hospital - he came to me 10 hours after surgery, to ask me to shower him, I hadn't full come round!!!!  So you see nothing registers with them when they are so sick....- it's just a great big dose of the harshness of reality. Also your husband locks himself away because he doesn't want you to see the awful aspects of vomiting, toilet accidents etc....you can only do as much as you can..... remember these things will come to us one day as well - I hope we have someone patient around us.  Keep your spirits up.....all the best.