This thread helped me so much before the actual event. To be fair, my wife isn't being nasty, but she has had a couple of "moments", and those who said, just remove yourself from the situation and let them be, are spot on. I nipped out for 30 mins - 1 hour and upon my return she was completely and utterly fine. Had i stood there and went toe to toe or even showed her rant was irking me, it would have lasted hours on end, and even through to the next day.

Saying that, cancer or not, it doesn't give anyone carte blanche to do or say what the hell they want if they are in full control of all their faculties. Abuse is abuse, no matter what the abuser is living through. The fact is, if someone is being nice to others or singing your praises in front of others, they are fully aware of their awful behaviour.

My partner has turned on me so many times it's soul destroying I am mourning a man & relationship whilst he's still here , my hairs coming out in chunks & his family just don't realise the extent of the abuse x

Oh - it's such a relief to find this chat!

I was really thinking that it's only me feeling like this. I am just exhausted.., walking on eggshells; and feeling like a complete cow if I call him out when he is being unreasonable. I know that having terminal cancer must be awful... but it does sometimes feel like I can do no right, and sometimes I find it really hard to ignore it and turn the other cheek (which might diffuse the situation but ends up leaving me feeling like I am unimportant and almost nonexistent)

The dexamethasone point that some people mentioned might actually explain a lot

Hope you don't mind me joining the chat... it's just a relief not to feel totally alone!

I am sending you a huge hug it's a very , very lonely place to be . You are not alone x

Thank you!

Just knowing that other people are going through the same thing makes it a bit better

I was given the heads up, that people with Cancer can become nasty, grumpy... Nothing prepared me for it though! He is on Cycle 2 of his Chemo (not too bad side effects so it's not that) Everything I do is wrong, moans - best place for me is work!! And yes I'm going in tomorrow on Bank Holiday  

we are not alone ️ ️

I was given the heads up, that people with Cancer can become nasty, grumpy... Nothing prepared me for it though! He is on Cycle 2 of his Chemo (not too bad side effects so it's not that) Everything I do is wrong, moans - best place for me is work!! And yes I'm going in tomorrow on Bank Holiday  

we are not alone ️ ️

My husband has cancer and at the moment I am maternity leave. He is in total denial if I am honest despite having treatment and he is still holding down his full time job. By the weekend he is exausted and snaps at me and is horrible. I cried last night cause I don't know how to cope sometimes. We have young children and in the week I hold the fort so he can have treatment and still go to work. The consultant gave him the go ahead to work as well - if it helps his mental health. But what about mine. Sometimes I can feel mine rapidly going down the drain cause I have kids and basically feel exausted. Nothing has changed for him despite having cancer- he is working still as much as he ever did- if not more. It's ridiculous. Everyone says to just stop telling him to rest and let him do what he wants. I am pretty cross I am the only person telling him working full time is making our lives a nightmare. He goes to bed by 9pm and by the weekend he is so moody. He had been on steroids for chemo which makes it worse too. He won't discuss his cancer with me. 
 

Feels so hard.