.....this is an awful situation to be in. 
 

Just wanted to say sorry you find yourself here and in that place. 
 

I've had someone threaten suicide to trap me in a relationship. It really is quite a controlling and abusive thing to do (not saying your girlfriend is...in my case it was). I ended it but told his close friends and family that he was making threats of suicide and that they needed to be with him. I can recall sending several messages to his friends/family to say, "you need to watch him". 

You can't be held to ransom in this way. You are deserving of happiness yourself xx 

Hi Bojo, city girl is right, being blackmailed is not a good relationship.  I know exactly where you are coming from as my husband has stage 4 lung cancer, incurable, three years down the line we had such a terrible time this year as he was so ill that I was wishing it was all over and we've been married fifty years, so don't feel guilty about how you feel.  Obviously it's different for me as we have years of happiness, children, grandchildren and history, you have none of this and you need to be happy for you, find another life, you're not sick but are living half a life.  Do as city girl suggests, talk to her, talk to family then make your final break when all the backups are in place.  She will have a McMillan nurse, talk to her they are not just for the patient, they can help you also.  Be strong and grab your life back, it's too short to live it in limbo.  Good luck for your new future.  Carol

Thank you both for your thoughts. I understand and close friends have said much the same to me but I just find myself thinking it's better to be miserable with her than spend a lifetime feeling like I left her to die alone. This is the real blocker as I know that if she was free from the cancer I would go today. But as it is, I feel so guilty that ultimately I can move on and have my whole life ahead of me whereas she doesn't. It seems so unfair to happen to her in her early 20s and all those decades being robbed away.

Don't take this wrong, have you been to any appointments with her, sometimes people lie to keep there partner if they think they might split. 

I hope I'm wrong but it is something to think about.. 

Good luck with your future what ever happens. 

Billy 

Hi again, it looks like you haven't got the response you expected Bojo!  Only you can decide the way forward, miserable doesn't sound like much fun, if you are staying in the relationship then changes need to be made for both of you.  Good luck. Carol 

What a sad situation, Bojo.

One way of looking at it is to contemplate how your future self would feel, looking back from say 10 years in the future.

Sometimes it happens that someone leaves a controlling relationship, and then after all the shouting and tears have subsided the other person realises that it isn't as bad as they were dreading, because the relationship wasn't actually that good for either of them.