Oh julie, what a star you are ...i can feel that love you are showing your mum ...

Everyone is different .. there's no two answers that are the same ... you just listen to your heart .. if you think she needs to carry on sleeping , go with it ... if you think a gentle wake time , you'll know if she's happy or wants to go back to sleep ..

This is , in my opinion the second hardest thing to do in life ... holding a loveing parents hand , at this time ... when they are on this journey , well all take one day ...is more wonderful and mean so much, you'll never know how caring that is ...

Often they make less sense near this time ... just go with it .. my sister had vascular dementia... we just went into her world .. even the words were random ... but we just held on to her .. and a nod or "I know" makes them think you understand ... it's a huge blessing her pain is under control ... we kept my sister relatively pain free ... 

And I was told, even when they are asleep ... they can still hear .. so you can tell her all you want to say, and she'll know ... that is the last thing that goes ... so hold on in there .. sending you a vertual hug....  Chrissie xx

Hi Julie 

Chrissie is certainly right about hearing. My son was run off the road on his motorbike. We were told he was bleeding on the brain as well as other brain damage and in a deep coma which he was in for six months every night when we left him i always said to him that he neaded a shave. One morning we were told he'd been moved to a normal ward when we got there he was sat up in bed (that was a real surprise). We walked to end of his bed he saw me and said you need a shave. Me and the wife stood there, roaring our eyes out. He never got completely better but being in a coma and hearing what i said really surprised us.

Good luck with your mother. 

Billy 

I'm in exactly the same boat. my mam was diagnosed 6th feb after 6 weeks in hospital and 2 horrific weeks in a care home. I made the decision to move in with her and care for her. we have been home a few weeks now she sleeps 20hrs a day everything is a struggle for her. she drinks about 1 coffee a day a few sips of water and eats very little. After speaking with the McMillan  nurses they said just to go with the flow. so this is what I'm doing I let her sleep and watch all day every day. she too has no pain and seems comfortable. 

I too feel like I'm just winging it. I worry over the smallest thing. it is soul destroying watching her.

Hi thankyou for your reply it's nice to talk to someone who's going through the same thing. 
What sort is cancer does your mum have and is she on medication. Iv reduced my mums morphine to a lower dose as she's not in any pain it just seems that the hospital just drug them up  

that's what the hospice done to my dad 8 weeks ago. 
 

my mam was diagnosed with a GBM4 again nothing they can do for her. Shes on dexamethasone that's it for the minute. we are keeping the dose low as she had a bad reaction to a high dose when she was in hospital. 

we are prepared with other drugs they are here but we haven't needed them yet. that was the one thing me mam made me promise we would drug her up so she didn't know anything about what's going on at the end. I have her at home and I'm doing this kinda all on me own. with covid 19 Drs and nurses are reluctant to come out and see her and they couldn't give me a care plan for home as they don't have the staff.

I feel like I'm on tender hooks all the time as they said they would fast track her health care cost as she originally went onto a care home and they do this on the basis she wouldn't last more than 12 weeks. I'm sitting here 11 weeks into that diagnosis worrying myself sick its going to happen soon. 

Oh I'm so sorry your going through this.  I'm exactly at the same stage. My mums now having trouble breathing. And is just sleeping all day. Is your mum  bc talking much ? 
it so nice to speak to you  take care julie x

aww bless you Julie it must be so difficult. my mam seems to be breathing fine at the minute. like I say she sleeps for around 20 hours a day her conversation is very limited yes and no answers not much else. shes not really interested either. I do keep trying with her but all I get is shes so tired.

I feel like I'm going mad just stuck here  and now she hardly talks. Would you rather have a chat in the phone I can call you tomorrow. Xx

Hi just wondering how your days been ?  Mines not been good mum feels really rough. Can hardly breath swallow. Dosent want anything just feels so I'll. hopefully tomorrow will be better x