I just popped in to say hugs. I'm sure your mum still loves you. I am not a medic but maybe the brain tumours are affecting her personality. It must be reallly hard for you.

Dear Barbara

I really admire how you are coping with what is a waking nightmare for you.

My late husband had the same situation as your mum. Mets to lung, liver, bones, spine and brain. So I have first hand experience what you are going through. I was reduced to tears at times with cruel things he said and Im a tough lady having been his sole carer for 8yrs.

As he had no treatment options he was given RT to the spine and that allowed him to walk with aids for a time. He was given steroid treatment to reduce pressure on the brain,this really helped and he became the gentle humerous man he always was.

I can only say try not to take what she says to you to heart,Its really not her its affected parts of the brain thats doing this.

Have you spoken of this with her Drs perhaps you should there maybe some meds that will help her.

Take care sending you all my best wishes xx

Hi Barbara 101

You are doing a fantastic thing looking after your mum in such a devasting time in both of your lives.  My mum had small cell lung cancer earlier this year only for it to spread to her brain and bowel.  I totally understand the frustration that you are feeling.  Never think you havent dont enough as you are an amazing person.

My mum has had one chemo session and has just recently failed three blood tests leading to a platelette transfusion.  She is so weak and confused and gets very irritated.  At the moment her partner is caring for her and he gets it in the neck all of the time with her outbursts.

Thanks for your message

My mom has now passed away in june, towards the end she had a brain sezuire that landed her in hospital, I was sure she would have died that night when it happened, I was allowed to stay in hospital with her for a week and wasn't allowed out the ward due to covid, I made her strong enough to come out to bring her home, she lasted another three weeks at home. By this stage she is completely bed bound and was on morphine driver for her pain. My mom wasnt angry anymore but more afraid and she didn't want to die. She was a young 73 year old and was always so active and young in the mind. It wasn't fair to watch her detioriate. Last few days she was in a vegetable state where she is sleeping but can still feel and hear. She died in my arms. I miss her so much. 

If I can give any advice back as your in similar situation, is to spend as much time with your mom if you can. I look back now I think why didn't I ask her this question, or why didn't I comfort her more etc. I would give anything now just to spend one minute with her.

Hi Barbara

I am so sorry for your loss. I have only joined today when i read your post.

My mam is also 73 and i am truly scared that we are going to lose her.  She was such a quiet person, never raised her voice, swore or agressive and now she is all of those and i know it isnt her fault but it is still hard to come to terms with.

Thank you i am sure i will be asking for advice from you.

I know it's very hard, and feels like a completely change of personality. But remember this anger is part of the disease, also it's her way of coping and coming to terms with what's happening to her. But this anger is a temporary phase and she will come to a more calming accepting stage. If you want to ask for advice please do.