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My mom has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 Bowel Cancer! He

JenM
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Hi all! 

 

I've found myself on here desperately looking for reassurance as to How I will cope!

 

I'm 29, mother of 2 (7) & (1). My mom is my best friend. The person who keeps me sane when I feel life is tough. After several trips to the Gp and the fact she was miserable and weak I decided to get her else where for a second opinion. That day the GP took bloods and the numbers were through the roof for bowel cancer. Her GP never did this test. My beautiful Aunt (her sister only passed in November for the same thing) my uncle (her brother) found it early and survived it a few years back so GP knew the history. This GP is also mine and I raised.my concerns but just advised to wait for a colonoscopy apt. But at that time I wanted a second opinion and the results were the huge CA 19-9 level.

 

She was admitted and has already had some of her bowel removed and now has a stoma. Recovering well considering! She looks like she's my mom again. She has stage 4- has spread to her lungs and some on her liver. She has been told she could have palliative chemo.

 

I'm desperately wanting to hear from people currently in the same situation (I so wish you weren't) did chemo help extent life. How have you families coped?

 

I'm in limbo and have never felt so scared, angry, upset in my life. This is the most indescribable pain and I need to speak with people who understand. I have a great support system with my husband and friends but I'm finding this overwhelming.

 

Thanks for any replies xx

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    Hello 

     

    I have been reading your post tonight and your situation is, sadly ever so similar to mine

     

    my mum, my best friend has been diagnosed with bowel cancer, who after a perforation had surgery and now has a stoma. She got news today the cancer is still in the lymph nodes in her bowel, lymph nodes in her stomach and possibly her lung.

     

    she has been told it is stage four but is starting chemo quickly. 
     

    im just looking for some advice and to read some other peoples experience, hopefully positive ones.

     

    thinking of every person who has had to join this forum for whatever reason 

     

    x

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    I am so sorry - you are still so young and with 2 little ones. I'm not sure if i'll be much help but in a similarish situation. My absolute best friend since i was 11 (now 46) was diagnosed 18 months ago with terminal bowel cancer spread to groin lymph and liver. It's now also in her lungs and bones. She initially did quite well on chemo - the tumours practically disappeared in all areas apart from her liver which i think is what they worry about the most. However - within a few months of chemo ending they returned plus the second lot of chemo plus radiotherapy did nothing. Last ditch attempt is immunotherapy but she has had 3 sessions and is really poorly. I fear she only has a very short time left unless a miracle happens - her stomach is swollen, she is nauseous, fatigued, in pain and now on morphine. Tbh she looked shocking when diagnosed but she's felt quite well in herself until  recently. I live a long way away and at first i was frantic - i never thought i'd be able to accept it because i've literally grown up with her but i do feel i've reached a state of sad acceptance although i keep trying to prepare myself for the inevitable. Some people however can live a good few years past their life expectancy so am hoping your mum does well on chemo.

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    Hello Jem m

     

    So sorry to hear this. I know the feeling if helplessness. My husband of 48 years has been fighting stage 4 colon cancer. Cancer now returned for 3rd time.   I have only just started out on this forum.   I was feeling overwhelmed as having to deal with 2 different hospitals.  Pallaitive have stepped in now and feel I can talk to them.  I feel like I am on a runaway train and can't change the outcome.   I was given adviceJust deal with today don't think about the future. If this thoughts come into my head I physically push them away. Try to keep in the present and tell you mum you live her every day .

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