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My mom has just been diagnosed with Stage 4 Bowel Cancer! He

JenM
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Hi all! 

 

I've found myself on here desperately looking for reassurance as to How I will cope!

 

I'm 29, mother of 2 (7) & (1). My mom is my best friend. The person who keeps me sane when I feel life is tough. After several trips to the Gp and the fact she was miserable and weak I decided to get her else where for a second opinion. That day the GP took bloods and the numbers were through the roof for bowel cancer. Her GP never did this test. My beautiful Aunt (her sister only passed in November for the same thing) my uncle (her brother) found it early and survived it a few years back so GP knew the history. This GP is also mine and I raised.my concerns but just advised to wait for a colonoscopy apt. But at that time I wanted a second opinion and the results were the huge CA 19-9 level.

 

She was admitted and has already had some of her bowel removed and now has a stoma. Recovering well considering! She looks like she's my mom again. She has stage 4- has spread to her lungs and some on her liver. She has been told she could have palliative chemo.

 

I'm desperately wanting to hear from people currently in the same situation (I so wish you weren't) did chemo help extent life. How have you families coped?

 

I'm in limbo and have never felt so scared, angry, upset in my life. This is the most indescribable pain and I need to speak with people who understand. I have a great support system with my husband and friends but I'm finding this overwhelming.

 

Thanks for any replies xx

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    Hi Jen im so sorry about your mum. I'm the same as you I'm sitting here thinking and crying how do I cope and support my younger sister who has just been diagnosed with a inoperable mass in her liver. Waiting for her chemo to start but she and we all know it's only a matter of maybe weeks maybe 6 months lots of maybe nobody knows. I only asked google for some clues about how to control the practical side of my brain and staying calm for her and the other side the emotional side of the brain taking over when your alone with your thoughts. So glad I found these posts xx

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    Hi jenM palliative care means it's treatable just not curable. 

    I've got prostate Cancer that's gone to lymph nodes, spine, ribs, pelvis and a lung. On palliative care since February 2016 was working had to retire to look after my disabled wife she needs 24 /7 care I'm her official carer. Unpaid of course.

    She can live with her uninvited guest. Just need checkups now and again and treatment now and again.

    Best wishes for the future.

    Billy 

  • Offline in reply to Billygoatt

    Hi Billy 

    So sorry to hear of your situation.

     

    Your message has made me feel so much better.

     

    I have so many things I need her with me for..trying to push a wedding forward also so she can be with me. My head is a spin. It's so reassuring to know you are doing okay considering what you are dealing with.

     

    This word Cancer is the dreaded word. I hate this word and I'm angry at everything it does to people. It's taking one step at a time really. I just want my mom home so I can feel useful. With the Corona Virus I haven't seen her since she was admitted and had her operation so I'm eager to get her home.

     

    I wish you well. You have so much on your plate!

    I really appreciate you replying

  • Offline in reply to grotbags

    Grotbags this is devastating!

    Like you I have been looking for answers, reassurance and anything else in between!

     

    Currently waiting to get my own bloods done to check for cancer and get a colonoscopy organised as I'm pretty high risk with my mom, aunt and uncle all suffering with this evil disease. 

     

    I'm am asking myself the same question. How do I continue to be a partner, mother, sister and friend. How can I go to work and manage caring in between. It will be beyond painful and I pray for strenght for us. I want to scream at the amount of pain I feel xxx

     

    I pray so much for your sister, you and everyone else involved. 

     

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    I can't give any advice, but I know how you are feeling. My husband has just been diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer too. He's 44 and we have two children (22 and 16). We feel like we're in limbo at the moment. They've removed the tumour and some lymph nodes. We're now waiting to see if he's having surgery on his liver first or chemo ( not sure if it's palliative or aggressive). Hope it all goes well for her and yourself x

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    Hi i was diagnosed in end of May 2019 with breast cancer recurrence and spread in to my lungs and liver and kidney apparently.I am on weekly chemo Paclitaxel since August and the tumors from my liver and kidney dissapeared and my lung nodules are shrinking too.Plus my breast lump i cant really feel it too.Physically i am not too bad haven't been sick once,eating well.Mentally its bit worse this weekly treatment but I keep optimistic that I will manage to get rid of all cancer.I am even think to return back to work

     

    I am wishing you and your mum good luck and hope for good results

  • Offline in reply to Denise1977

    I am so sorry for what you are dealing with. You seem incredibly strong! I cannot say enough what replies to my post have done for me in terms of hope!

     

    I felt hopeless and now I am feeling hope again!

    She is coming home today after Having her operation. Of course I'm nervous and hoping I can cope. I think the stoma will be difficult for me but I know I will become desentisiesed to helping her change it in time. When it's your kids or you mom you do it! 

     

    It's amazing to hear that you are even considering returning to work and taking your life back! You are inspirational and I can tell a strong person!

     

    Thank you for replying and as I say hearing from you guys who are unfortunately facing this battle daily has really helped me more Than you can ever know! Best wishes and health to you x

  • Offline in reply to Vicky44

    Vicky so sorry to hear of your husband. Ye must be all having such a wave of emotions and fear. I pray for him and you guys things go the best possible way they can!

     

    I think it's a day by day thing.

    My son walked for the first time yesterday and I even felt guilt for smiling and being so happy in that moment when all this is going on. What the person and families have to go through is gut retching. You feel out of control... I've never in my life experienced these emotions..I have emotions I never knew existed or I had.

     

    Please god the chemo can shrink this down for him. My mom is back in two weeks to discuss chemo I assume. This forum is like a saviour for us and I think i will be on this for time to come xx

  • Offline in reply to JenM

    Hi jenM glad your mum is coming /is home. You'll certainly cope with anything especially for your mum, it's just getting used to a new normal. Might seem strange for a while but you'll soon be OK with things. Best wishes for the future........ Billy

    P.s it's strange what feelings come out when cancer is thought about. You'll get stronger as Time goes on. 

  • Offline in reply to JenM

    I'm a 69 year old mother and experienced exactly the same issues with GP. I have just (27th Nov) been diagnosed with colorectal tumour and CT scan shows it's in my liver and lung. I am so scared and devastated for my 3 daughters and husband. I can't believe this is happening to me and although I've yet to hear what can be done I know this must be stage 4. It has helped to hear your mum is going home and hope that she and I will manage to enjoy more time with our family. I cant believe I'm actually writing this about myself. All the best Linda

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