Hi Caw, main thing is if they need any support, mentally or physically. Or Any thing fetching medicine or shopping.
Sometimes just someone to talk to is a good help..
Your a good friend to help out well done.
Billy
P.s I'm a full time carer for my wife she has Alzheimers and parkinsons. But I'm the one on palliative care since February 2016.. Good luck and best wishes.
Thank you for your words of support. It's all so new to me that I will have to adjust my role over time. They are incredibly independent, so it's little jobs that I can do.
Also listening to their rants about the pain or the incompetence of the gp! Enjoying a take away to celebrate the fact they have a diagnosis at last.
Hi caw. Hope you realise proper care will start now they have been diagnosed if you can go to appointments with them. Quite possibly help with side effects of treatment (depending on what's wrong and treatment options). Well done for caring and being a carer. Remember to look after yourself as well. Best wishes for the future.....
Glad our Billy has responded to you with good advice. The other thing is I have found, most people with cance like to keep some semblance of normallity in their live otherwise they feel cancer has completly taken over their live. So if yoyr friend like a laugh, thats not a bad thing as it take their mind off of things if only for a short while
Take care for its far from east being a carer, Brian
Thank you for this. Cancer affects everyone and being there for them is the main thing. Being an emotional person, I want to be there for my hubby and ensure that he can have a whinge or a chat about it without me bursting into tears. It is him who has cancer, him who has this life-changing diagnosis but it has been caught early, fingers crossed all is good.
It is all still new to me and we are in the waiting stage of chemo. But before that he has to have a MRI scan on his liver and a colonoscopy.
How can I be strong and be there for him with his worries, just to be able to chat to me about it without me getting all emotional. Jeez! He is 52 and in the Army and has had part of his bowels removed as he had a blockage. I am ex-RAF and I think not knowing what to expect, having some structure or focus is difficult for us both.
In the meantime, best wishes to you all and so thankful to have found this site to keep me semi-sane.
Hi josies, not unsurprisingly people who look after cancer relatives have a worse time of it than the patient. The patient knows what's going on with their own body where the relative has no I'd how they feel and can struggle about what to do for the best.. Hope you can get sorted. And remember to look after yourself. Best wishes...
Thanks for your advice. My friend is in hospital at the moment and I couldn’t go with him as I have a cold. Fortunately his stents were able to visit him Sunday and take him the things I had forgotten to put in his rucksack. He has had two ct scans as there is some kind of blockage and the other was to check his chest. It is all very worrying but I am managing to keep my conversations with him quite normal and factual. He is v pragmatic so just gets on with things.
i am sure you will be able to be strong. Think about your support network. Maybe you have a friend or relative who you can talk things over with. It also gives you time to yourself and an opportunity to be away from your role as Carer. Try to keep things as normal as possible and keep talking. Communication is key
With my friend, when he’s having a good day, we talk about lots of things, sometimes about treatment and options. He likes to be factual, so that’s how we keep the conversation going. If he’s having a bad day, I don’t make a fuss.
When I get emotional I go home, sometimes to have a good cry. You could make a cuppa and a snack and go to another room to rest. If I get emotional it drains my energy, so I try and find a way to rest and recharge. You have to look after yourself so that you can be the best support you can to your hubby.
