Controlled

My sister as lung and stomach cancer as well as 2 tumours on her brain, my sisters daughter takes care of my sister However, she is not really telling us anything, all we know is all treatment as been stopped as they can't do anymore for my sister, she looks really well and you would not think there is anything wrong with her, I keep asking my niece what time as the consultant given your mum/ my sister? She just keeps saying she don't want to talk about it, anyway my concerns are my sister is one from hospital and my niece as installed 2 cctv cameras in my sisters living room, also she has taken all her money away from her, she only gives her a bit of tobacco to maybe make 5 tool ups, she keeps rushing my sister into doing things, and my sister is saying to me that it's doing her head in all the time, and when she talks about her daughter she shakes and starts to feel unwell, and it's very distressing for her, they are going to have a meeting to determine if my sister is safe at home or should she be in a care home or hospice, and we know nothing, as her brother I feel hurt and upset and when I challenge my niece about all this I get all the abuse you can think of, yes I know she is hurting and upset, however as a family member I need to do something here or I would of failed as a brother to make my sisters last few months or which ever length of time she has left to be happy for her and let her have and do what she wants, we have lost 12 members of our family in the past 25 years thru cancer and heart problems, no one living past 60, so I know what hurt and upsetment is, can someone advice please as to what I can do to help my sister and to stop all this controlling by my niece 

  • Hi cornishboy, why has your niece got control of the money if your sister is mentally OK,. Next time your sister goes to specialist go with her you have more rights than your niece.. I could be wrong but is the niece spending your sisters money.?? Legally she's braking the law unless they have a legal paper giving permission. (power of attorney) or something similar.

    Remember it's your sister. 

  • Hello. What a difficult situation you find yourself in. Unfortunately her daughter has more rights than you as a brother. You mention not knowing much about your sisters situation bur you are in touch with her. Is she maybe worried about saying too much because of repercussions from her daughter. Is there anybody you could speak to regarding your worries, your sister's GP or somebody involved in her care. 

    Apart from the money side of things, the bigger worry is her treatment and bullying of your sister. If there is going to be a meeting to assess her needs maybe this is your time to intervene

    This is so sad, your sister is so ill and you are so worried and concerned about her and just wanting her to spend her remaining days however long to be happy.

    Her daughter doesn't seem to care too much about how her mother feels and as Billy has indicated, why does she need to have control of your sister's money.

    I hope you can find some way to help your sister as you are such a caring brother.

    Kind regards.

    Lynne