Restless, anxious about my husband

I am trying so hard to be strong for him. Tonight he said he thinks he’s “had it” I asked him why and he said everything seems to be gearing up for the end. He felt that the Marie Curie nurse visit last week meant he would go soon. I said I kind of understood his fear but she is there to support him. I suggested he talks to her about this next week when she visits again. 

I sat on the edge of his bed and talked about the holiday we’ve booked for March. He said it’s only 26 days away, so at least it’s given him something to aim for. He’s counting the days  He’s anxious about travelling. There is a hospital with an Oncology unit about 8 miles from where we will be staying. I think it’s best if I call them before we go to check they’ll be able to help him if he got taken ill 

Hes got his sickness under control and that’s helped him a little. He’s not eating much but he has an appointment with the dietician next week. 

My heads still in a whirl,  I’m not sleeping properly  I don’t really know what to do or say  I’m simply being guided by him. I accept what he says and reassure him as best I can. 

Im  going to try to be brave and ask the nurse some questions next week

This is the worst thing to happen to us all but we are trying to make the best of now

Kuiper

  • Hi Kuiper, 

    I'm sorry i didn't respond before I'm still trying to find my way round this site and only noticed your post today.

    How are you doing? It must have been very difficult over the last few days for you dealing with one situation on top of another.

    How is your husband today and I hope that you have managed to get some rest.

    Best wishes 

    DAISY-MAY 

     

  • A quick update. He’s doing ok. Back on his chemo but a lower dose. He’s had another blood test today. He’s got a consultant phoning him on Thursday with the results and further advice. 

    Hes a bit down at the moment. I can’t seem to buoy him up. We have talked. He’s upset and thinking about his prognosis. However, by now without treatment, he’d be gravely ill or worse

    im sure once the lockdown eases properly and we can go out that will help him. All he wants to do is go fishing. 

  • Hi kuiper 

    So glad treatment is progressing OK. 

    Hopefully he will go fishing soon now things are relaxing (lock down) a bit. I certainly can understand if you don't feel very good, getting out to somewhere nice can make all the difference especially if you can do something you enjoy.

    Hope you're looking after yourself properly especially as things are just now.. Hope you both get out somewhere soon.

    Billy xx 

    P.s bren is feeling a bit better now i actually took her off some of her meds it was for schizophrenia which she hasn't had and she should never have been on. It can cause parkinsons which she now has.? 

     

  • Hi kuiper 

    Hope you've got all the fishing gear ready. Hope you have a good time. 

    Billy 

  • Hi Billy, sorry for the late reply. We are doing ok. His oncologist failed to call him yesterday about his bloods further treatment etc. I rang the oncology unit to be told we should have had a letter. It turned out that the secretary hadn't sent it to Print! So 11th June now. So his phone range 7pm tonight. It was one the oncology nurses and she told him that his white blood cell count was still a bit high. He has to have another blood test in two weeks. He's a bit wobbly about the results. I sat up with him watching tv, until 2am, once he'd kind of settled I came up to bed

    Billy that's great news about Bren. I can see where you're coming from with your thoughts on those drugs and Parkinson's. 

    It's  lovely to hear from you

    We are both booked in to go fly fishing on a very large lake, only 15 people at a time allowed to fish so social distancing will be a cinch  I'm nervous about us going out but it's in the fresh air  If it gets too much we can just come home  we go this Monday. You might know my rod and reels are in my caravan in Wales! So I'm going to have to use his spares!

    Kuiper 

  • We have masks and hand wash, hand sanitisers which we will use

  • Hi kuiper 

    Great news your getting out and about on Monday. Hope weather is good for you and your both feeling good to go.

    I can understand, about oncology with looking after bren i didn't realise i should have had an appointment just before Xmas (this was end of February) so i phoned up got told they will book me one, two days later got appointment for next day so early that morning had to get blood test and hope results get there for my appointment early afternoon,

    Aparanley oncologist had moved so they had to get another some results were in but not the main ones i wanted. A month later I got oncology letter still didn't have results on. 

    It's getting near to next appointment now so to be on safe side I've arranged blood test before i phone up so hopefully I'll get all results this time.. But it's getting chaos here.

    Just a quick rant i know you'll understand. 

    Love....... Billy xxx 

  • Honestly feel free and you rant all you like Billy. I think it’s awful that your oncologist left, you weren’t told and you’ve been left so long. Little wonder you’re cross. 

    Keep well Billy

    Kuiper x

  • Hi kuiper, 

    Hope your weather is good where you are and you both feel well enough to go fishing. Hope the fish are biting and you have a good time out. 

    Love..... Billy xxx 

  • Hi kuiper. 

    Hope you're both still OK, was hoping for a list of all the fish you caught. 

    I arranged my own blood test and phoned for appointment. Got results not good cancer count has jumped up so more scans and new meds to see if it'll come down could take months with way things are just now. 

    Again hoping everything is OK. 

    Love.. Billy xxx