Hi kuiper, 

Make sure you look after yourself as well be careful you don't get ill it's easy if you get run down and worn out. 

When i was having treatment i found ginger ale kept its taste and stayed down quite well as long as i didn't have to much. And as you've found out ginger biscuits are good. 

So sorry he's struggling again have you thought about those milky energy drinks, supposed to have all you kneed to keep going.

Good luck and best wishes for the future. 

Billy xx 

Hello Kuiper

Sorry  to hear that your husband is ill again and not able to eat much. We get a few good days and then it all goes wrong again doesn't it. Such a relief that you have a caring and helpful doctor in this awful time as you are both unwell and need to rest. I a glad that your daughter is able to help.

I hope the new anti sickness medicine helps and you both get time to rest and get some energy back.  Good luck.

Ronnie

Hi Ronnie

thanks for replying. I’m just at such a loss what to do. I tried everything this morning to try give him something light this morning and he still ended up vomiting. 

He managed 1 small cod fish finger tonight. That’s all he had all day.

He looks ill, he has the shakes. I’m praying our GP is right and the meds kick in tomorrow, otherwise I’m at a loss

If I mention food he goes mad. If I cook he can’t stand the smell. If I explain how he needs to eat because of his pain meds, he tells me off saying the more I mention food the worse it is. I offer him a choice of any food or pudding he goes mad. I suggest he has his supplement drink he refuses. 

I don’t know what more I can do. I’ll not offer tomorrow see if he asks but the fear is he won’t eat then

I am trying my best honestly I am but it’s breaking my heart watching him do this

love Kuiper 

Hi kuiper 

Food is not a worry unless he gets to thin people can go without food for days with no problems. 

It's more drink or he'll get dehydrated. 

Can you drink something he really likes near him don't say anything just slowly drink it see if you can tempt him. Probably food as well.

Alot of cancer patients get upset and nasty with people who are helping them. I don't know why maybe fear or anger because of what's happening to them, i think if he starts being like that just walk away let him think about what he's doing for at least 1/2 hour than try again till he realises its not helping him..

So sorry your struggling and upset. Remember to look after yourself. 

Good luck and hope things improve with his attitude. Best wishes. 

Billy 

Hi Billy 

you hit the nail on the head about fear. He’s convinced he’s dying. He told me this morning. He coughed up some nasty rubbish off his chest this morning and I said this is more likely the culprit than dying. I know severe chest infections can make you feel like you’re breathing your last. 

I-reassured him as best I could and he accepted it to a degree. The next thing he’s asked for boiled eggs so he at one and a half, hooray x 

Hes up but relaxing and that’s fine. I’m just putting away a Tesco delivery. Because we are vulnerable they contacted me by email Friday saying there were slots available for today. I ordered my parents some stuff in amongst it as they are stuck, in ill health but for some strange reason  haven’t had a letter off the Govt. One of our daughters will collect it out the porch and take it over later  

I’m exhausted and I’ve stopped now. I’ve wiped everything over I can’t do any more  

Billy I hope all is ok with you it’s anothet beautiful day here 

love Kuiper

Hi there

i think Billygoatt is right, he is frightened and who can blame him.  I expect you are scared too - I know I am and we never know what the next day will bring. Is he more tolerant if your daughter offers him food or drink? Not sure if you have daughters living with you and perhaps you are cooking for everyone in the family so can't avoid cooking? Does ice cream work, lots of calories. 

Glad to hear you're getting a Tesco delivery. My son gets our shopping but I worry about him as he is asthmatic. I would much rather order my own food. Never thought supermarket shopping would become a treat.

Try putting yourself first for a day and just giving your husband what he asks for so he doesn't feel pressured. Good luck, I do think about you and wonder how you are managing.

Best wishes

Ronnie

Hi Billy and Ronnie

Thanks for replying. It’s been a weird day. Somewhat disjointed and very hard work. 

Hes been up and about a little. A few spoons of weetabix. A bit of ice cream. Flat 7 up. Dioralyte. 

All was reasonably ok until his Marie Curie nurse phoned. Now I understood the logic of her conversation with him. She’s asked how he was, he said a touch better. She talked to him about forthcoming hospital phone appointments all ok. He mentioned how scared he was in case he ended up in hospital etc. Then she asked him whether he wanted to die at home or hospital. He nearly dropped the phone with shock! Anyway he recovered himself and said home. She asked if all his affairs were in order, had he made a will? Did we have power of attorney etc. Yes.  I heard him say well I’m hoping to get better before anything definite happens to me...he said I don’t want to think about any of this. It’s too upsetting. 

He came off the phone he was visibly shaking. He was upset but we discussed what she’d said and I explained that it was probably because of this Coronavirus situation. She needed to be clear about his wishes while he still had the capacity to make them known. 

Hes still up and about. I think it’s made him kick back into life again 

Oh my goodness. That is a real wake up call for your husband. Makes it all seem more real. She was really making clear the options and making your husband think about his choices In advance of anything happening to stop him getting the chance to express his wishes. 

 It is very hard for us to bring up the subject but as you say, it has clarified the position to him and made him want to make the most of the time left.

I really hope this will make life easier for you if he is willing to eat and drink what he can without your having to get involved. If he takes the responsibility for his nutrition you won't have to hassle him to eat and he won't blame you.

Fingers crossed you will have some easier days now.

Ronnie

Hi kuiper 

It sounds terrible the way he was told, normally its face to face and done carefully, but at least it's out in the open now, it's possible it might help him fight more and be more positive.

Hope you're looking after yourself you have been struggling lately, remember I've been there done that helping bren so i know what it's like. 

You'll have to see if he behaves different in next few days hopefully get himself doing more himself. 

Best wishes. 

Billy xx

P.s have all arrangements been done. 

I sorted everything out day after i was told i wasn't curable saves messing around later.