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Losing my lovely mom

Dch903
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My 75 year old mom has just had a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer which has spread to the liver. Chemo is not an option due to other health issues.  We're waiting for her care package to be organised.

i'm absolutely devastated, obviously and what really hurts is that before seeing the consultant mom had decided she was having chemo and then when we were told she couldn't have it, mom was almost pleading for ANY treatment. It's so bloody unfair.

I'm spending as much time as possible with her and my dad but have a 9 year old son and a job too. I can't bear leaving her at the moment and it's so hard to know what to do about work. I know I'm going to need time off later on but I feel so bloody overwhelmed right now, crying on and off, can't think of anything else. Husband is no emotional support st all. I have some very good friends who are looking out for me. 

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    Hi,

    Sorry to hear about your mums recent diagnosis.

    I'm seeing my 72 yo mum for the first time tomorrow at hospital since she was diagnosed with stage 4 secondary bc. We found out day after Boxing Day. Totally stunned and didn't know how to react like you. My emotions were all over the place. I kinda went foggy and couldn't focus on a particular task without thinking about Mum. Sleeping was very hard at first as all you think about is Mum and what the future holds.

    I found that talking to close and loved ones helped although it was emotional. Work should support you through these times. Telling my 15 yo daughter was bloody awful.
     

    Local to me there is a cancer charity that helps with support in these circumstances. They can offer you emotional and practical support along with counselling. Although it may seem very raw, talk and it will get easier I promise. Maybe worth having a quick look to see if there are any services local to you if the home support is not there. 
     

    don't bottle it up it makes you worse. Let it out. There is no wrong or right way to react but please look after yourself, your Mum, dad and your son. It's gonna be tough. Maybe a moderator from the forum can point you in the right direction. 
    Keep smiling and stay strong for your mum.

    Happy to chat

    Roger

  • Offline in reply to RogerB

    Hi Roger I'm sorry to hear about your mum. What a horrible time for you all. I do hope your mum is as comfortable as possible. It's unbearable to think of them suffering and that really scares me. 
     

    I do have lots of people looking out for me. I will look for a support group, thank you. Wishing you all the best.

    Dawn 

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