Thankyou for replying. I've tried with the family. Her sister lives a stones throw away as in like 200 yards and comes round once in a blue moon. It's just so hard. My anxiety is through the roof. I just feel so alone so god knows how my mum feels. My partner is also poorly so I've got the anxiety around that. I just put on a smile where in side I'm crying all the time. Folk at work as how mums doing and saying I'm doing great being there for her etc and really they're strangers and my family and close friends are not asking how I am. I will travel back monday to start nights on Monday through to Thursday and try and work some hours on top to try and get the hours I owe down and then I'm back with mum on the 23rd for her final infusion. I'm exhausted. Before I left on the 2nd to be here I broke down to my partner on new years day. I worked the early shift, came home, went shopping, put washing out on the clothes maid, picked dog mess up in garden, cooked tea, put bins out, had to go out again to run some more errands, got back, washed up, tidied up and between all that my partner was also asking for cups of coffee etc. I sat on the bed and just broke down as I felt so low and alone and taken for granted and I got "you're going through alot" I wanted to scream and say that I needed some help. 

All I seem to do is care for mum when shes on chemo which I'm not moaning about as I love spending time with her, driving up and down the motorway, working, sleeping, working, sleeping, cooking, cleaning, coffee maker, caring for mum..  it's just so hard.. xx