Hi there ...

It sure is a dilema... and the thing I've learned on here, is it's almost impossible to give a time frame .. as some hang in there far beond the time given .. others may go a lot quicker ... so they can only give an average .. but it's very rough idea ... 

I've wanted to just take every day as a bonus .. and every day I wake up I say ... "yep still here" and make the most of that day .. as for palative chemo .. talk to your dad .. it may give him a tad longer .. if he wants to do it .. then go for it .. but if he's had enough of what chemo brings, and wants to be as well as he can, for as long as he can .. then like you've said .. tell him that's o.k  ... 

You can make every day a memory day .. leave nothing unsaid... ask about his life ... how he felt the first time he saw you .. watch a movie .. go for coffee on good days .. make a lifetime of memories... in the time he has ... none of us cancer or not,  don't know if they have tomorrow... so admit your both scared .. share tears and feelings .. let him talk about what he wants later  .. find out while you can .. is there something he epwants to do .. or go .. that's what I'm doing .. 

Sending you a vertual hug... Chrissie xx

Hi there.

My mum was also diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer in October 2017, aged 60. She also had an operation to remove the tumour in her bowel but unfortunately it had already spread to her liver and lungs. My mum began palliative chemo about 6 weeks after her op and although she was petrified of the chemotherapy she always wanted to share with people her experience because although obviously no one wants to go through it my mum always said that it wasn't as bad as she had expected it to be. In fact my mum did 33 rounds of chemotherapy so from her experience I would definitely say it's worth it. It gave her an extra 18 months. She didn't suffer from hair loss or sickness. She did have a bit of neuropathy in her fingers but always found a way around that. More tired the two days after chemo but then was back to her usual self. The chemo had a huge impact on her CEA markers for the first year, bringing it down from 6400 to 350.

Sorry for going on, but my mum so wanted people to know that sometimes it's not as hideous as it is often portrayed and wanted people not to be afraid of it. I'm just being her voice.

Hi

Slightly different scenario but my husband was diagnosed with stage 4 bowel cancer that had spread to his liver back in January - only option was palliative chemotherapy.  We were told if the tumours didn't respond it could be as little as 8 months but if it was responsive we could be looking at up to 3 years.  He has since had 3 scans - after the first the tumours had reduced by 30% and we had another 20% shrinkage after the second scan (which the consultant was very surprised at).  His third scan showed no further shrinkage but this was to be expected.  We now continue with the chemo - not nice but he is able to work (he works for himself so can just take himself off for a rest if he needs it) and generally live an OK life.  For him the side effects aren't too bad.  We have had a few holidays and are looking to go further afield in December.  So in answer to your question I would definitely say it was worth a shot to give you some more time together.

Hi just reading this, my brother in law was diagnosed with the same thing yesterday stage 4 bowel spread to liver. They are offering chemo as they are saying that's all they can do. He's only 42 with an 8 year old daughter. Is there any hope? X x

I would just like to add our personal experiences after 2 years of treatments.

Palliative chemotherapy for Stage Bowel Cancer is not a cure, but it can reduce symtoms and potentially extend life.

That said I would be hesitent taking a first opinion from an Oncologist that the cancer is inoperable until you've seen a specialised Liver Surgeon with your scans to explore if surgury might be an option in future if the liver tumour respond -exceedingly- well to chemotherapy.

The Liver is the only organ of the body that can regenerate after almost 70% of it is reduced by surugry (assuming the Liver tumours have not advanced too far, which is a big if I know).

We went through Chemotherapy and Liver surgury, and while the Liver recovered fantastically however it wasnt utimelty successful - with extensive mets in liver, lungs and bones, so are on the same palliative care pathway, with at this point survival probably a year or less.

That doesnt mean trying for a longer pain-free survival and fitting in as many meaningful family experiences as possible isnt still a good goal..