Hi

I see you are laying awake worrying like me.

My Mum has breast cancer which has spread to her liver and bones.  She was able to sit in a chair and feed herself a week ago, this week she cant get out of bed, feed herself or hold a cup.  She is uncomfortable all the time but not in extreme pain.  She tells me every day that she wishes that she could fall asleep and not wake up again, this is traumatising for me as I feel like I am failing by not being able to find a solution. 

I got her into a nursing home this week as I can no longer look after her and she meeds specialist care, they try their hardest to make har comfortable but they cant wprk miracles.

I never realised how horrendous this would be I knew it would be unpleasant but never dreamed  how bad it would be. 

My heart goes out to you and your Mum x

I know how you feel, my mum also would like to fall asleep and not wake up. It is so traumatising, I hope for both of us that the good memories of our mums will quickly take over these bad ones once they have passed. It seems that my mum is where yours was one week ago, as she can walk to the kitchen, sit in a chair, and feed herself, but barely. It is distressing that the process is so slow, isn't it? Like you, i also knew it would not be sunshines and rainbows, but seeing my mum on the floor crying out of frustration after a fall just strikes a deep chord with me. It is also so strange to wish that she would pass so that she is not suffering anymore, as I never dreamed I would be wishing my mum's death upon her! 

best wishes to you and your mum as well x

Yes it feels terrible but you just want it over for them so that they dont suffer anymore.  

X

Hi I'm so sorry your having to go through this. It's awful to see someone you love declining. We have just found out my mum has terminal pancreatic cancer. All every fresh to try and absorb. I'm sure you are being a great support to your mum and family. All you can do is stay strong for them and your family and have places like this to vent too. Always here to chat if you feel you need too take care

Hi there, I am in the same boat. My mum is in that same state and I feel completely alone in caring for her and watching her deteriorate. Just wondering how you have been coping this week? Hoping your mum is comfortable xx

My mum took a really bad turn and had to be taken into hospital on Aug 14th, within a day she couldn’t walk. All her medication was changed and she was put back on steroids and a syringe driver. I left the hospital every day thinking it would be the last time I’d see her . She was able to hold a conversation and ate a little but then she was sent to a hospice on 22nd Aug, told she wasn’t leaving on 26th and died 27th. It’s like she just gave in and let herself go when she knew she wasn’t going home - she was so determined to get home. I sat by her bed all day on the 27th she couldn’t eat or drink and was barely awake, I knew it was the end. She passed at 9pm. I have never felt so relieved that she wasn’t suffering anymore. That was one of the hardest days of my life and it’ll never leave me 

I wanted to give an update to you all... my mum passed peacefully at 4AM this morning. There was only one day where she was bedridden and completely unaware (though she was still able to ask for more pain meds etc). My dad and I prayed that last night would be her last, as she was suffering. I'm so glad our prayers were answered. 

Oh bless you, thank goodness her suffering is over.  

X

My lovely Mum passed away lasr Sunday 22nd October.  She was peaceful at the end.  It was sad in some ways but I was relieved for her as her suffering is over now which is what she was wishing for.  She is back with my Dad now xx