Thank you for replying Chrissie. I posted here because I feel like I am completely lost. I have to force myself to go out and be with my friends. I feel very lonely. When I'm not at work I stay in bed and read up on his condition. I stay overnight at his and never sleep properly as he is up and down all night. Last time he was shaking uncontrollably. I try to do the practical stuff when I'm there but I don't even know what is happening with his treatment or future plans for his care apart from what he tells me. I don't know his family but they do know about me. I don't feel I have a role. Sometimes wants me to touch him and other times he doesn't want me near him. I don't want to say or do the wrong thing. I feel guilty because I wish he hadn't told me. But then I feel if I was in his position I would want to know that I had a 'partner' who cared about me and was thinking about me. I know I'm not his wife or a long term girlfriend but I really do like him and all I can see is more heartache. My friends have advised me to take a step back but I can't x