Hi there ...

Bless ya ... people post on nearly anything .. so don't worry ... and everyone is welcome ... 

My heart goes out to you ... you must feel between a rock and a hard place ... nether in or out ... well you can get anything off your chest here ... I did ...

And try not to over think things or it becomes overwhelming.... try to live in the day .. that's what we all try and do with cancer , terminal or not ... if I were you , I'd tell him how you feel helpless and not sure how you can help him .. and say you'll be there whenever he needs you ... try not to push him too far .. he may need to chat about it sometimes .. he may want a brake from talking  about it at other times ... just let him take the lead ...

Remember no amount of worrying will change the situation .. so take time for you .. do something nice without feeling  guilty .. and if you can go with the flow, you'll cope better too .. you can't change it or take it away ..but just by holding his hand when needed will mean more then you know ..

Hope that helps a tad ...  Chrissie xx

Thank you for replying Chrissie. I posted here because I feel like I am completely lost. I have to force myself to go out and be with my friends. I feel very lonely. When I'm not at work I stay in bed and read up on his condition. I stay overnight at his and never sleep properly as he is up and down all night. Last time he was shaking uncontrollably. I try to do the practical stuff when I'm there but I don't even know what is happening with his treatment or future plans for his care apart from what he tells me. I don't know his family but they do know about me. I don't feel I have a role. Sometimes wants me to touch him and other times he doesn't want me near him. I don't want to say or do the wrong thing. I feel guilty because I wish he hadn't told me. But then I feel if I was in his position I would want to know that I had a 'partner' who cared about me and was thinking about me. I know I'm not his wife or a long term girlfriend but I really do like him and all I can see is more heartache. My friends have advised me to take a step back but I can't x